Roommate (27F) thought I (25F) was a lesbian, finds out I’m bisexual, now wants to dictate what I can’t wear around her boyfriend. Help.

So I (25F) live with a woman (27F) who I’m gonna call “Mary”. We met each other off a Facebook roommate finding group and have lived together for two years. We live well together but we are very different and not friends. We plan to find our own places this coming May.

Mary has a boyfriend (30s?M), “Sam”. Sam is a fine guy. He’s really quiet and we sometimes chat about Marvel. He’s at our apartment a lot, like maybe five nights out of the week. They don’t bother me.

Mary and Sam are having relationship issues. Mary is VERY emotional and Sam is emotionally closed off. More than once I’ve overheard Mary crying and Sam just shutting down.

A few months ago there was an “incident”, let’s say, where Sam left her. She was despondent for a week…then they talked, and they were together all smiles at my place! Mary said Sam hadn’t meant to leave her, that it was a misunderstanding. This doesn’t having anything to do with the story I just think it gives them some context.

So back to me. I’m bisexual. Mary has only known me with one partner, a woman. We broke up last year and I only recently started dating again. Sometime last month, I went on a date with a guy who I really liked, so when I came home I couldn’t help but gush about him to my roommate. She was surprised I was seeing a guy. I guess she just assumed I was a lesbian (I am a bit of a tomboy lol). I came out as bi. She’s also bi, so it was a pleasant conversation.

Now, this being my house and all, I do sometimes do things like walk from my bathroom wrapped in a towel, or wear pajama shorts, or work out in a sports bra. Well today, Sam’s not here and Mary sits me down. She wants me to stop walking around in a towel or bra or “sexy PJs” when Sam is here. She told me it was making them uncomfortable and I needed to respect this boundary.

I said I would have to think about this.

I feel like it’s obvious this only became an issue once she found out the true nature of my sexuality, like I was “safe” to be around her boyfriend when she thought I was a lesbian. I’m not attracted to him nor is anything I’m wearing overtly sexual, and this is my home! I don’t want to change how I’m living because she’s insecure about the feelings of a man who doesn’t even live here.

Soooo. What do I say? What do I do?

TL;DR My roommate found out I’m bisexual, and suddenly wants to dictate what I wear around her boyfriend. How do I respond to this?

Submitted October 01, 2021 at 10:00PM by hehehe233 https://ift.tt/3DkzCrV