I have been in relationship with my gf for more then 4 years. Trust me when I tell she is the best thing ever happened to me. She changed me a lot in a good way. Before meeting her I didn't had any friend. Emotionally I was zero. I was just a robot who just goes as per daily activities without any fun. But after meeting her I enjoyed a lot these were the best days of my life. But recently we have been fighting a lot about her family. Her family is great they treat me as there own. Her dad even invite me on only boys trips( just include the boys in there family) that's great fun. Her mom is like typical overbearing moms which we see in movies, she cares a lot about we(like mom). Her other family is like a huge friends group they enjoy a lot.
Now to the may issue.
2 months back my gfs elder brother proposed to his gf and they set there wedding date in march. He gave me certain wedding activities which are basically taken care by the family members (it's like being a Groomsmen in Christian wedding). But my issue is I don't want to take those responsibilitys not because I hate them in fact I love to do those but I'm afraid of the commitment. I didn't told him yet but I discussed with my girlfriend. She said that she is sick of me for being so distant from her family and gave me an ultimatum that if I don't treat her family with love she is going to breakup with me. I don't want to lose her but at the same time I don't want that responsibility.
My reason to reject the offer.
I have a huge blood family same as her but my family stopped care about me when I was 2(only person who care is a old maid who lived with us). I didn't had a proper name till I was 7. And I did everything to be included in my family but no one care. I'm afraid if my own family treated like that then my gf family affection is temporary and I don't want to go through the same heartbreak I went with my family (it took me lot of alcohol and my gf to get out of it). I don't want it but my gf tells me it different.
Please give me advice how to convince my girlfriend. Or if I'm wrong tell me how can I correct myself.
Tldr: my gf wants me to be more involved in mith her family but I don't want to do that because of my past family issues
Edit : Please advice anything other then seeing therapist because therapist in my country are waste. To become a therapist you only need to take a 3 month course in my country. If you have any alternative to this ( like zoom therapist from your country) let me know
Submitted October 08, 2021 at 11:55AM by pruthviraj79 https://ift.tt/3oIvca4
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