TL/DR: Wife and I married for +15 years. For the last couple years she increasingly needs more and more attention from me. Since I can't give her enough, she's found a man (30m) to text/flirt with. And I'm having issues accepting this.
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Wife and I have a decent relationship. We spend a lot of time together. We have dinner as family (three teens) at least 5 days a week. She and I go out at least twice a week. We spend most evenings watching TV together, or playing games with friends. We have sex minimum twice a week.
For the last few months she's indicated she needs more attention. She wants to be texted throughout the day (I work an uneventful workerbee office job M-F, 8-5; she works part time twice a week). And when she calls on way home from work, she wants extended conversation about random details of the day. And she wants flirting, sex talk/texts as much as possible.
I do a bit, but after awhile I find it exhausting. We don't have much in common (two very different people) but the last few months I know she wants more and I just don't have it. Often we don't have much to discuss, simply cause we talk and see each other so often.
She has no real outside interests. She enjoys working in yard with flowers and shopping.
I don't have her extreme need for attention. I enjoy our time together, though again, we are two very different people.
Recently a guy we knew as a 17-yr-old (old high school bf of her daughter (my step-daughter); the guy is now 30) posted a pic from a strength competition on fb. She posted a comment saying "looking good" or whatev. He then private messaged her. She mentioned it to me, since we both know he was a horndog.
Couple days go by, and I happened to have her phone. I glanced at the messages, and in short, it's full of him saying "I want to fuck you" and her responding "you're so bad." I mentioned to her that this seemed a **bit** more involved than she suggested. She said it's nothing, just flirting!!! What's the big deal! He lives states away!
We brought up her need for attention, my inability to give her all she wants, and now she has an outlet. She's very stubborn and always gets what she wants, regardless of what I think.
My dilemma is how to deal with this. It makes me greatly uncomfortable and I can't stop obsessing over it. She said it's just fun for her, and I'm over-exaggerating it.
How have other spouses in similar circumstances dealt with this, especially those in marriages of +15 years? When you need something "new and exciting" how do you get it? Is this a reasonable outlet?
This isn't something I feel I can discuss with friends or family. So I turn to reddit.
Submitted October 11, 2021 at 06:50AM by neverreddiit https://ift.tt/2X58Sfq
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