So for background on this, my girlfriend (24F) and I (26M) met through mutual friends. Including her and I there are a total of 6 of us who are now a really close friend group. So a small close knit group. When we first met and everyone formed this group she was dating someone else. Well through being friends, her talking to us, and her being really interested in me she broke up with him. I thought it was good because she wasn’t happy with him anyway.
I knew she was into me but I didn’t expect her to come on to me so strong. I wasn’t exactly interested in dating and I told her this since I got out of my longest relationship about a year previously and was still not emotionally available, if that makes sense. Being in the state I was in, however, I was very easy to seduce. I was already hooking up with people and just trying to get over the past relationship and enjoy life so it was easy to do. Well we started hooking up. She started coming to see me and of course the whole friend group was pushing us hard to date. No matter how many times I said I wasn’t interested in a relationship, she just kept coming to see me and wanting to date me.
Well through her forwardness and huge pressure by my other friends I caved and got into a relationship. Since then she has showed more care, love, and interest in me than any other person I’ve ever dated. She seems practically obsessed with me. She loves me a lot and always wants to see me. Heck she wants to have sex more often than I do. Way more often than I do in fact. Sound great right? Well it’s not when I don’t really feel the same. In fact I feel terrible about it.
She’s extremely pretty. To most people she would be gorgeous. She’s just not the type of girl that makes my jaw drop (so to speak) for some reason. Just how you could probably think of a celebrity you don’t find attractive but everyone else seems to find them ungodly attractive (just for a somewhat comparable example in perspective) that’s how I am with her. I can tell everyone finds her super pretty. Just not my type. But with that being said I know she’s pretty and she cares about me. So much so I’ve tried to get over it and hope I would fall in love. I don’t know why I can’t find that attraction and love. There are times I think I do and then it leaves. I don’t know if I’m still not emotionally available or if she’s just not my type.
Here’s also a huge problem. I don’t feel I could end it. I can’t stand thinking of hurting her and I don’t want to lose all my friends. I feel like they’d hate me. At the same time though I hate I don’t have the same feelings that she seems to have. I hate that I now can’t talk or think of any of my girl friends (as In friends that are girls) without now thinking how it would be to go out with them instead of her. Which is so weird and I don’t know why I think that. I’ve never cheated or anything like that so even the thoughts make me feel terrible. I don’t think I’ve ever been so conflicted or felt so stuck in a relationship. Maybe I’m just an asshole and need to give it time. I don’t know. I just know it hurts so much to feel this way when I know she cares so much about me and thinks so highly of me.
TLDR : My girlfriend loves me so much and thinks so highly of me but I don’t feel the same. We are in the same friend group so that makes it more complicated. I feel terrible about it.
Submitted August 03, 2021 at 07:33AM by TheLazyCommuter https://ift.tt/2WSMfub
No comments:
Post a Comment