My mum (50s) views my (22) income as hers. How do I stop her from making financial decisions for both of us?

Hi all,

I’m wondering what to do when my mum thinks of my income as part of hers. We both earn about the same (she earns slightly more than me) but she’s not as good with money as I am. She’ll spend until she has nothing from her pay left and then will ask me for more money to make ends meet (I already pay my share).

I noticed she will buy designer things like LV, Chanel and Hermes, but will complain to me that she doesn’t have money to buy groceries for the week or money to make her car repayments, or money to pay rent. I have talked to her about buying items that she can’t afford and she’ll snap back with “it’s my money. I work so hard” etc but then will expect me to pay ON TOP of our own agreements (I do help out 50/50, but she’ll expect me to pay 100% sometimes).

We recently got into an argument a week and a half ago and I expressed I wanted to move out next year by accident (BF and I have been talking about it) and she saw this as a reason to move out of our current rental, into a bigger and more expensive one. She’s now going on tangents and saying stuff like “if we split the rent money, we’ll just be paying $500ea” and stuff like that.

There is no way I can afford to pay that plus all the bills I currently pay for myself. I have told her this but she responds with “you can”. I don’t want to pay double the rent I’m paying now, in a rental with 4 bedrooms (we only need half of that). I’ve tried to reason with her but she’s too stubborn to hear me.

I don’t know what to do. If she goes ahead and signs the agreement I’m scared I’m going to be left paying for the full amount of rent sometimes, plus the full amount of groceries. I’m already helping her pay off her car.

She thinks my income is hers and is living way above our means (cause 100k a year sounds better than 50k each a year) plus this is before tax so we’re not even earning that much money.

I need help. I don’t know what to do!!

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TLDR: Mum thinks she's earning 100k a year (50k hers, 50k mine) but this is all before tax. She's bad with money so I have to step in and cover what she's short on. She'll buy designer items but won't have enough for groceries. I'm already helping her with her car repayments, plus my share of living and current rent expenses. Help! I don't know what to do to get out of this situation.

Submitted August 27, 2021 at 08:40PM by pandanna19 https://ift.tt/3yq8O6D