I decided to repost this with a more descriptive caption and depiction, and deleted the old one. Sorry for everyone who already commented on it.
We have been together for 1,5-2 years. The relationship is quite ok but we've had our ups and downs, and sometimes my bf has reacted to our fights with "well, feel free to go" mentality which has not felt good.
One of the biggest problems atm is that my bf refuses to do most things with me because of COVID. No restaurants, no trips, no gatherings with friends, hardly any walks outside etc. Because of this, he has never met my friends, and seems hesitant about doing it. I even tried suggesting that we find a couple friend to join a hobby (board games) with us, and he got a bit weird about it (started joking about swingers and such, and totally missed the point).
So that's one big problem. However, there is another one which is way more obscure but bothers me nevertheless.
My boyfriend has a niche hobby that he loves very much but which isn't probably amongst people (especially with women). However, last spring someone (a woman) finally showed interest in their group, and I noticed that bf was very happy about it.
Since the woman could not start immediately, my bf kept making "I wonder if she will come back in autumn" type of comments throughout the summer, and keeps still wondering if she shows up to the practice and such (since she is quite busy). I thought that he is just excited to have a new member but admittedly, it is not the most exciting topic to me.
Lately I've noticed that he keeps saying her name in a weird "half-mocking but secretly pleased" tone that men sometimes use when they talk about (interesting but somehow intimidating) women. Probably innocent, yes, but still, quite weird.
I got curious, and looked online if I could find a picture of their group or anything related to them. Through that, I was able to find a profile that matched her name and interests. She turned out to be rather beautiful, Margot Robbie looking, young blonde who has a few similar interests as my bf. Not necessarily a match made in heaven for him (based on my personality analysis) but still, an attractive, young woman that most men would like.
I doubt that they have a physical relationship or anything but I still don't feel too good about this. Since only a handful of people attend their group meetings, they are basically one person away from hanging out alone - and my boyfriend seems more excited about it than anything he does throughout his week.
I don't know if I would feel this bad about the whole thing if my bf treated this hobby in the same he treats his time with me. But it seems to me that he is willing to "sacrifice" things for this hobby that he does not "sacrifice" for our relationship.
For example, he is not eager to meet my friends because he fears he will get COVID from them (= parents of one year old who rarely travel anywhere). At the same time, he is more than happy to meet the hobby woman and his other training partners though apparently they (training partners) travel quite a lot from town to other and are not exactly spending a quiet stay-at-home life (which he expects us to spend). And they also do a lot of physical contact training, so keeping a safety distance is not possible.
It just seems that his training partners can do no wrong while people close to me are immediate suspects of carrying a disease or such.
I would like to share my thoughts with my boyfriend but I know that he would accuse me of irrational jealousy and possessiveness. I have to admit that I don't like feeling this way about our relationship but it's a bit hard to do that when I see notable signs of "infatuation" in my boyfriend and feel that he does not want to do anything special with me.
I have also noticed that in the past three weeks or so, he has seemed more distant and uninterested in me. Funnily enough, this coincides with the time the woman has attended the training.
So how could I untangle this situation in the healthiest and most mature way?
TL;DR Boyfriend refuses to do anything special with me or meet my friends because of COVID. At the same time, he shares a hobby with a young woman (and a few other friends), and does not seem too concerned about COVID restrictions when it's time for their training. He also talks about the woman in a way that is unfamiliar to me from our other discussions (e.g. by using a weird mock/flirty tone in his voice). I don't know if I'm jealous for no reason or if the situation is actually a bit f*cked up.
Submitted August 30, 2021 at 02:45PM by Soidin https://ift.tt/3gNVZNs
No comments:
Post a Comment