Update: My [m/29] closest friends [6 people f&m/26-31] exclude me from things post-quarantine when we used to hang out all the time before
It took me a couple of days to come up with the courage and the strategy on how to ask about why I wasn't invited out. I decided it was probably best to contact the person whom I'm closest with over text. I tried to make it as non-accusatory as possible, saying that I might sound desperate because of COVID and because I'm moving. I asked if I upset anyone and also asked if I maybe was overstepping and I wasn't as close to everyone in the group as I thought I was. The only part that I didn't mention was that I also noticed them hanging out together before the trip as well.
They responded pretty quickly and explained they forgot/didn't intentionally not invite me because they (the 6 of them) had a trip (birthday party of one of them) just pre-quarantine and since quarantining they have talked about recreating that trip. They also mentioned they didn't know my GF was out of town and they also didn't know I had nothing planned and in afterthought, it would have been perfect to invite me. The person I was speaking to in particular also said they had been very busy with school and so they didn't think much of the trip until it happened.
I didn't answer immediately because I was working but they called so I answered and they seemed pretty apologetic. They assured me no one was upset with me. They also mentioned how, other than second hand conversations, they didn't really know the plan about me moving. It was something I kind of mentioned here and there but never really discussed in depth with people because COVID had made the unknown date of my move much more unknown as things have changed constantly. This is my fault in all of this.
While it was a good talk and some things got ironed out, I still kind of feel left in the dark about some things. Like, why wasn't I also invited to the birthday trip? It wasn't the person who I spoke to's birthday, but it may seem like my relationship with the person who did have a birthday might not be as strong (I did invite them to mine and they did come). Also, I understand wanting to recreate something, but COVID has almost gone on 2 years now and in my mind, that would want me to expand the trip to include more people since you have not seen anyone in a long time. I know for damn sure I would have invited them if the tables were flipped and I was included instead of someone else.
Like I mentioned previously, this also brings up the question about why I haven't been invited to hang out when there is no trip going on. There are 4 of us that have gone to school together and lived together at various points and we did almost everything together. Even though we added more, I thought it would be the same.
I guess now I'm waiting to be see what happens. I don't know if they mentioned what I had said to the rest of the group (I'm assuming their partner knows) and I'm not sure if I will bring it up with the rest. For the people that do know, I'm assuming they now are aware I am noticing. I think the ball is definitely in their court and I will use that to judge what our relationship is going to be like when I move.
This update is much more of a rant, no real question so sorry about that.
tl;dr: My friends didn't mean to intentionally not invite me on this recent trip because they were recreating a pre-COVID trip where I wasn't invited.
Submitted August 28, 2021 at 01:56AM by FeelingLikePoop https://ift.tt/3kvfnzU
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