Before I met my boyfriend I had another relationship. My boyfriend was a virgin and had never been in relationship before me.
We have been going out for three years. We get on well and have similar life plans, but a constant point of tension has been that I have had more sexual experiences than him, while he doesn’t have any other experience. He sees this as a block against having a future with me. Personally, I quite like him and can see a future with him.
He basically said that there was no way he could see himself living his whole life only ever sleeping with one woman. And I didn’t like hearing that at the time, but you know, I kind of get it. He’s a young man, variety is the spice of life, etc. I’m not stupid.
So I said alright, do something casual if that’s what you need to decide whether you see a future in this relationship. As far as I could see, there was no other way for the relationship to survive.
What I expected would happen is that he would sleep with another girl and realise we actually have a good relationship and that’s that. (I am confident we have a good relationship because I have the benefit of being able to compare. And tbh I am not too bothered by jealousy because I am confident I am reasonably attractive (as I tend to get attention from other men).)
So he went and saw a prostitute, but he got performance anxiety and didn’t have sex (but did kiss her and stuff).
Then, more recently, went on a couple of Tinder dates with 19F (Jane). They kissed but didn’t sleep together. Later, Jane very rudely rejected him over snapchat.
So he’s pretty depressed about that, it’s crushed his self-esteem. And I feel like he’s expecting me to be super sympathetic.
But I’m not sympathetic. At all. I’m actually pretty done with him. My perspective: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Don’t fuck teenagers.
There’s this further element of like, the fact of him being rejected makes him less attractive to me. I don’t know if that’s fair at all. Obv people reject people for all sorts of reasons. But whether it’s rational, that’s the situation.
Meanwhile, he is treating me much better, buying me stuff, calling me kind/smart/hot/etc (compared to Jane, I assume). But tbh I am secretly dealing with like a ‘disgust response’.
But at the end of the day, I gave him permission to do this. Am I being completely unreasonable? Am I in the wrong if I break up with him for this? I’m sure I’m capable of processing this and moving on. But I’m not sure I want to.
tl;dr: My boyfriend tried to date casually, with permission, and it’s made me want to dump him. Am I a giant hypocrite?
Submitted August 27, 2021 at 09:12PM by gardenvarietybulimic https://ift.tt/3mGZdWU
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