Me (25F) and my boyfriend (29M) have agreed to split our chores. After a year of living together I’m reconsidering it.

The premise was basic; he cooks and I clean.

It worked well in the beginning as I was cleaner but he had more patience when cooking, and could spend an hour or two making a delicious meal for us. It worked.

We both work full time (from home mind), and it’s still working okay. But I’ve noticed the way he is messy goes beyond a normal messy person. For example, he will use up the last Kleenex and just leave the box somewhere in a corner. Not in the bin three metres away, but just where he last used it. Same goes for his (used!) tissues. Or in a better example, he drinks at night when I go to bed, so sometimes I wake up and see up to 5 separate booze-smelling glasses he just left. If I drink one cup of coffee in the morning and leave the cup in the sink, he will go out of his way not to wash it, even if he’s washing his own dishes.

I cooked a few times for us, but I don’t think he ever wiped down a counter, or dusted, or scrubbed the toilet. He does not have to ask me to cook, sometimes I sense he’s tired or that he would appreciate it, or I just feel like cooking that day. Conversely, a few times I would go to bed being too tired to wash the dishes, then wake up at 3am to the smell of stale oil permeating the air, and see nothing was cleaned. It’s not that he can’t, it’s just that his threshold for his own mess is so high.

It’s really not that bad. But we are thinking of having a kid in the near future. I don’t want to end up cleaning up after TWO kids just because cleaning wasn’t in his job description when he moved in. I want to see if we can try splitting chores in a way that isn’t so linear, bit he is so messy I’m not sure it’s worth discussing.

Tl;dr I split chores with my bf not realising how messy he is and now I have buyer’s remorse.

Submitted August 28, 2021 at 03:03AM by Lattika https://ift.tt/3BkGXGN