After a visit with my (22M) psychiatrist (50s), I have realized that my parents were a lot worse than they were, and I am not sure how to proceed here. I always thought they were normal.

Raised in greenwood brooklyn to a russian-jewish dad and an italian mom. Had a pretty rough upbringing. I always thought that my parents were pretty good parents, in terms of how they raised me. But it was when I started dating Claire, who was from park slope and had really good, nice parents (and all of her friends did too) that I sort of realized something was wrong. I remember describing stories on how my parents raised me and they would look at me with shocked faces. I remember, very specifically, playing a voicemail my mom left me where she was yelling at me because I did something funny, and they laughed, but they were also shocked at the... anger she had.

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I went to college, and I did alright, but I got a diagnosis of psoriatic arthritis, which put a huge wrench in my plans for college. I did online classes, and I failed one, which is entirely my fault. I... I just couldn't tell my parents about this. I couldn't tell them about the failed classes or the psoriatic arthritis because I knew their reaction. Eventually, they slowly found out, and it was a disaster. My mom, who is usually the bad one, was somewhat understanding about the PSA (psoriatic arthritis) but my dad was totally horrible about it. Not because I didn't tell them, but because he just thought I could overcome it and that I was weak for not overcoming it.

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My girlfriend gets along fine with my parents. But she did tell me, they're pretty crazy in that regard. Don't get me wrong, they were not restrictive or overprotective. At age 11, they let me walk nearly a mile to middle school. But its more about the way they spoke to me and the issues there. Always screaming at me and being super angry at me for small things. They didn't beat me, but they would hit me over the head for a lot of things, which I always thought was normal. My dad was never physical that much and never as crazy as she was, but he was INCREDIBLY critical and always said cruel things.

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I went to, on my gf's recommendation, a therapist. And when I told my therapist everything, and they told me the reality of the situation, it was just... so enlightening. In terms of how my parents made me feel and how horrible my upbringing was. He really gave a very in-depth run down and examination of how fucking terrible they were. And even with my GF's insistence and me seeing how her friends were, I always MOSTLY denied it, saying it wasn't actually that bad and how it didn't really affect me. But when I was with that therapist, it was like everything just came as a wave. I know it sounds stupid but it reminded me of the scene where Carmela Soprano sees the Jewish psychiatrist and he just lays everything out to her and she suddenly realizes the situation she's in. That is how I felt. I didn't cry, but I really kind of felt like I should have cried.

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I just... am not even sure what to do. I never realized how much they fucked me up, and how much I have always just denied it. Looking at my GF and especially her friends, and seeing how well adjusted they all are and how their parents are perfectly fine people, it just makes me so jealous.

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I just dont know what to do. I cant move out. My job pays shit, and frankly, with my PSA, I don't know how I am gonna get a better job. I am lucky that my boss tolerates my PSA. So I am just stuck in my situation.

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But ever since that therapist appointment, I just... do not want to be with my parents. I cant stand it. Things I used to brush off just make me wanna fucking curl up and cry. I feel totally lost and broken and fucked up in a way I never did before.

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What am I supposed to do? Leave them? At any cost? Talk to them about what the therapist told me?

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TL;DR - - Therapist revealed to me just how terrible my parents have been. Not sure how to proceed.

Submitted August 28, 2021 at 12:41AM by kajiaanrjhnj22 https://ift.tt/3sWg60x