The occasional mention wouldn't bother me but if it's good, bad, or indifferent - I hear stories about his exes about 1-3 times a week. It's usually one ex in particular, the one who he dated for a decade. But he and I have been together about 2 years now.
Usually there are extra details about his ex that don't add anything to the story whatsoever. The story goes something like "One time my ex and I went to a taco truck and she ordered blah blah blah and didn't like it but the tacos were awesome..." when all I needed to hear was "One time I went to an awesome taco truck". The point wasn't the ex, the point was the awesome tacos so why bring her up at all?
I've tried talking to him about it three times. The first time was a couple months into our relationship. He got angry with me and said that I shouldn't censor him and his past experiences. His reaction was much bigger than I anticipated so I didn't press the issue, and at the time I thought he was right.
The second time was about 6 months ago. I felt like he gave me a backhanded compliment where he said he was proud of me for doing something his ex never would've done. When I told him that actually wasn't a nice compliment and I didn't appreciate being compared, he had a big reaction again. He literally stormed out of the room and said I was censoring him. Again, I did not expect him to react quite like that.
So I didn't revisit the conversation until a few days ago when I told him point blank: "It's been 2 years, I've told you I'm tired of hearing details about all these other women and I've been scared to tell you that and talk about other issues because of previous conversations."
His response was that he's over his ex, this problem has more to do with my insecurities than his communication, and he's never compared me to any of his exes...which he has done.
So now what? Am I making this bigger than it needs to be? Part of me is feeling like the issue itself is no longer all the talk about exes...but how he reacts when I try to solve a problem with him. It's like my feelings don't matter and his anger and denial is him trying to silence me...which makes me question the relationship in general.
TL;DR: What would you do if your partner regularly told stories about their exes and then blew up whenever you asked them not to?
Submitted August 30, 2021 at 08:27PM by MeringueAdvice https://ift.tt/3zBaSKk
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