I've never posted here before, so if I mess something up, my bad.
I met my boyfriend 9 years ago, and things have been pretty good. I feel like I'm probably trying to screw up a good thing or something, but here goes.
I've never been someone who wanted to get married. I just hated the idea of it, and I hated how so many people I knew had parents who divorced. I thought it was more important for a couple to love each other and stay together and be good to each other than to have a piece of paper. When I met my boyfriend, he also made it clear that he never wanted to get married, and we were very compatible. Neither of us want kids either, and I still don't want kids, but I'm not sure if that's an important detail or not.
Over the past couple of years, I've started seeing so many of my friends and cousins get engaged and get married, and it's such a big deal to them. Everyone makes such a big deal about it, and I've been getting comments and questions about when my boyfriend is going to propose to me and all of that. It's made me realize that I think I want that, and it makes me feel dumb because I've told him this whole time that I didn't.
I brought it up to him kind of casually about what he thought, and he shut it down pretty hard. He still has no interest whatsoever in it, and he seemed to get irritated that I even brought it up. It's like he could read my mind, and he even said that I needed to calm down and not want to jump on the getting married bandwagon just because some of my friends and my cousin were doing it.
Now I'm kind of stuck feeling like there's this big life event thing that I'm never going to have, and it feels kind of like I've lost something. I don't know how to describe how I feel about it.
I talked to my grandma about it, she's who basically raised me, and she told me that I should leave him. Her reasoning is that she thinks I've changed since I've been with him and that she misses how I used to be. She wasn't always the best to me, and she's not the biggest fan of him anyway since she thinks he's a bad influence even though he's really not, so I'm not sure if I should listen to her on this.
Another part of this that might be relevant is that I've been having small arguments with my boyfriend lately about what I wear. He's always been the person to make me feel good about myself, but he doesn't like when I wear tops that show cleavage or whatever. I just like to feel more confident with how I dress, but I know I should be respectful to what he wants too at the same time.
I'm not really sure what to do, and I could use some advice.
TL;DR: I thought I was okay with not getting married, and now I'm not so sure, but my boyfriend definitely does not want to get married.
Submitted August 31, 2021 at 04:42AM by PrincessGothicBean https://ift.tt/3kIGbfW
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