background: my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 2 years in a strictly exclusive/monogamous relationship. we've been having problems for the past year or so relating to my relationship anxiety, which he's very aware of. i had a problem with him paying for girls' nudes behind my back and then lying about it when i found out. he used to put in effort to try to change and help me but over time he just ignores, yells, and curses at me when i try to talk about my feelings. he even went as far to leave me out on the street and kick me out of his car because he was frustrated that i told him that i was uncomfortable with him saying "i'll touch whoever i want to touch." there's obviously more to this but it's too long to type. please respond without judging my decision to stay with him, as it's more complicated than i can explain. i'm also willing to answer any questions about the specifics if it'll help you better understand the sitaution.
current situation; for context, this is my first year living on campus. i was talking to my boyfriend about my day and he told me not to stay holed up in my room all day even though i was out all day with my friends at events and such. he was referring to me going out and "getting wasted" and i thought he was just telling me to have fun and "live a little" but then he went as far as to say "you need to open up and you can tell me about you getting wasted the day after and don't need to let me know [when it happens]" even when i said i wanted him to know so he can know i'm safe. he responded by saying "it's unlikely that something bad will happen" then he said "go have fun. play spin the bottle or something" and when i questioned that, he said "you're thinking too much, i'm saying have a good time." i wanted to clarify that the spin the bottle comment wasn't a hint to go cheat on him and he said that if i did cheat on him he wouldn't care if it was once or twice. he says that he wouldn't cheat but is fine if i go have sex with another guy once or twice because it would just be a "mistake" and he's not "uptight like me." when i ask him why he says this kind of stuff he says "drop me then" and just said "find someone else if you wanna go be a wh*re."
if you're comfortable specifying your gender, i would appreciate that so i can have input from everyone and better understand others' perspectives. TIA.
TLDR; after months and months of me making it clear to my boyfriend that he's the only one i want to be with and have a future with, he continues to ignore my anxiety and work towards solving our problems. tonight, he told me that he'd be okay with me cheating on him and sleeping with someone else if it was "just once or twice." when i questioned him further, he got mad and lashed out at me, refusing to discuss it any further. how do i go about this because i still want to save our relationship for many reasons not mentioned.
Submitted August 25, 2021 at 10:17PM by strawberryybubbles https://ift.tt/3BdHt9j
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