I have realized that I really hate taking photos. I have been scrolling through photos on my phone. It makes me feel sick. I ruin every photo that I am in, I look like I don't belong. I just look off. I really can't explain it. I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I look at the photos. There is something really off about me but I can't point it out, I feel like someone who is totally faking it in photos.
I have 3 siblings. I am the second oldest. It was my elder sister's 18th birthday. Everyone took a lot of photos. I couldn't say no to getting most of it but I still felt as if I was ruining the moment. I felt really guilty about it. Seriously guilty, at the end of the night my sister called me out to take a photo of all of 4 of us. I didn't want to. They were all so happy and I would have ruined the picture for them. I said I was tired and I didn't feel like it.
My sister insisted and said I had to come but that only made me feel even worse. I can't snapped that I didn't want to and she got mad and all of them ended up not taking the pictures. Everyone is mad at me and I can't really explain this. My sister said that I am an absolute asshole who ruined her birthday.
I feel really guilty about ruining her birthday and the photo. I just should have taken it. I just let all this bullshit inside my head get to me but I also feel like they will look back in 10 years and I would be that sore thumb standing out and ruining it.
How do I fix this? I find it difficult to take about this photo thing. It is all in my head and it is making me feel so bad.
TLDR : I refused to be part of a group photo and ended up making ruining my sister's night.
Submitted August 28, 2021 at 07:40AM by Sad_Entrepreneur8141 https://ift.tt/2USYB4M
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