My boyfriend and I are dating for almost 4 years. I love him dearly even though he treats me not well. But since he got his tattoos to honour his dead/general family I just resent him. He keeps bragging about them on the internet and put them in all of his profiles how "tatted" he is.
He even went back a year after High School just to show his former teachers how many tattoos he got. In addition to that, he now acts as a super idiot. He calls me stupid, he tells me I should too get tattoos because without I look so blank and boring.
He said I don't "understand" that this is his personality and he cannot change who is anymore. He always yells at me how I do not love him because I do not want to talk about his tattoos and acknowledge them or even see them.
But it is not like I do not like tattoos in general. I have nothing against them, it is just that his whole "new" personality that he has now is just so different. He used to be such a sweet and clever guy. I fell in love with this guy nerdy guy who would try his best to make me happy.
Now he is just treating me like a second class person. He promised me actually that he would come to me and he'd save up to travel to me (we are an LDR couple) but he just wasted his money on his tattoos, Spotify Premium, YouTube Premium, Discord Nitro but NEVER did he save a single dime for coming as he promised.
I saved some up and I am thinking about doing an exchange year in University next year to meet him but he basically does nothing. He only thinks about himself anymore and I just do not feel like I would actually love him anymore.
I am crying myself to sleep every day, I have barely any friends at this point anymore. I have such irrational anger at tattoos to the point I cry when I see one because it reminds me of how much he prioritized them over me.
Last time I asked him to please think of me and hold his promises and that he would have to choose to be with me or getting more of them and he simply just said he would get more of them and if I cannot accept it he'd block me.
He told me he has an addiction and isn't willing to stop ever. I feel so unloved from him and just want to break free but I just cannot because he is simply holding me back. In addition to that, he had lost all his goal drivenness.
He used to have a full-ride scholarship that he lost, he doesn't want to think of the future, he rather still wants to be a dishwasher or a clothes cleaner. He doesn't think of what he even wants to do in the future.
At a point, he even said he wants to be a stay at home dad and I should go and work as a teacher because I should do what I love. He only games all day anymore, he has been fired from his one job now he works at some under the table job where he doesn't pay taxes and isn't actually registered as a worker.
His mom also paid for most of his tattoos, the summer camp that he goes to each year, she hates me because my boyfriend told her how "demanding" I am with him stopping tattoos even though I just ask him to please hold his promise. His sister hates me because I called him when he was with her because I did not know he was with his sister and he has not responded in 2 or 3 hours but he was online.
Any time we fight he simply just blocks me for 2 days until I am apologizing to him rightfully, begging for him to unblock me and send him nudes / make rp sex with him. But the funny thing is he keeps saying he feels like a dildo because I want "too much" sex from him.
Even though HE is the one who keeps making subtle hints of him wanting me badly. Dating him really only feels like anymore like talking to his father. His father was aggr*ssive and an alc*lic and it slowly feels like he is turning into a version of his father.
I am trying to tell him that he should not drink so much and he comes at me mad that he always "only" drinks occasionally and how he would never be an alcoholic. He also once said he does not want to be his father yet now he punches walls like him, treats me terribly, wants to see my browser and Reddit history.
I am so close on just ditching him and going to block him but I am still so attached to him. I do love him a little bit but I resent him very strongly.
TL;DR: I want to break up with my boyfriend because i cant take his behaviour no more. But I want to do it in a gentle way.
Submitted August 28, 2021 at 02:47AM by dudewithquestioneeds https://ift.tt/3yqv2VO
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