Hi, Reddit. I have conflicted feelings about my dad’s current marriage and maybe someone can help.
Brief background: My parents had a very unhealthy, unstable relationship; childhood was a mess, etc. And as you’d expect I’m still dealing with the fallout of that. Dad married his second wife when I was in high school, and it was again a bad deal. They divorced after a few years, thank God.
Onto the current marriage. He met her several years ago while they were both working abroad. He’s American, she’s from a country in South America. He’s now ~60, she’s the same age as I am (~40). Bonus, she has the same name as me! Okay, that’s weird, but you know, they’re both well into adulthood, so good luck to them.
The part that I struggle with: I’ve never met her, spoken to her, interacted with her in any way. None of my dad’s family has. She’s a real person—I've seen videos and photos of them together, including the wedding photos, and he talks about her frequently. She had to return to her country to deal with a visa issue, and he sends her money while waiting for her to return to the US.
A few years ago, while Dad was still working abroad, my brother, sister-in-law, nephew, and I flew back to our home state from our current living places. Dad, his wife, mother-in-law, and stepson also flew in. We did not see them once. His wife refused to join us even for dinner. We had to go pick my dad up from the hotel and he met us in the parking lot. She wouldn’t even come down to introduce herself or wave from window or anything. Just. Nothing.
He got mad and said he was breaking it off, but then changed his mind because “that’s just how she is; it’s different down in X Country. Don’t take it personally and get mad”. But we all still feel snubbed and weirded out by the whole thing, and she’s still never interacted with any of us. Like, I have a teenage stepbrother living in South America that I’ve never even seen a photo of. That’s weird. Right?
Dad wants us to visit again because he misses us, but I think, well, sure, but will your wife be okay with it? Is she going to make me pick you up in a parking lot at night like I'm doing something shady? I don’t know how to explain to him that I do not like her on principle, and he may be fine with it, but no one else is. (Our relationship has grown more distant for other reasons, but this one is definitely NOT helping.)
TL; DR: My dad’s third wife is a much younger woman who wants nothing to do with his family. Thoughts?
Submitted July 02, 2021 at 01:23AM by lerov11705 https://ift.tt/2TnbZO4
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