I (F27) don't know how to feel about my spouse (M31) right now.

I feel like this post is going to make people mad at me, but I really just don't know how to feel and want some advice besides "leave him."

We (husband, M31 and I F27, married 7 years, together for 9) play this stupid, immature game at home where we try to pants each other sometimes. It's only between husband and I, only when we are at home and it's always to laugh about it. If one of us vocalizes for the other to seriously stop, we always end the game. It's not even very often, maybe once a week that one will get the other. It's like tag.

This morning, my husband got me like 3 times in a row. It was funny, we were both laughing. This evening, as we got the kids ready for bed, I had an opportunity to get him back so I did. It was stupid of me, in retrospect, and now I don't think I ever want to play this game again. Our kids have a bunk bed, both were in bed and husband was bent over the lower bed to tuck in our child. The kids never saw anything, they didn't even know what I did. I wasn't even able to pull his pants down more than just one butt cheek. He pulled up his pants quickly, spun around and smacked me on the cheek. It wasn't hard, but it still stung and our child saw him hit me. I looked at my child, who was smiling because she thought we were playing a game, and then looked at my husband who looked pissed. I asked why he did that. He could have just told me to stop. He told me "Well, I just did." And turned back around. I told my child that what daddy just did was not okay, and it's never okay to hit. I tried not to cry while singing their lullaby and putting them to bed, and after they were settled my husband was waiting for me in the kitchen. He told me it was just a "love tap."

He's literally never ever hit me before, and I told him that if he ever raises a hand to me again that I will absolutely leave him. He apologized finally but I feel very betrayed. I don't know what to feel beyond that. I don't want to make him feel guilty. Was this all just my fault for being stupid? Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

Sidenote: I know that pantsing game is stupid and immature. I don't need people to tell me it's stupid. We won't be playing it ever again.

TL;DR: husband slapped me in front of our child, I don't know how to feel.

Submitted February 22, 2020 at 09:34PM by ijustwantanap1 https://ift.tt/2SULwEt