How do I [30 M] deal with with my girlfriend [27 F] (9mo) being upset when she is not included in everything I do?

We are currently having an issue with my girlfriend being very upset when I do things without her. These are not all the time, and it's not typically with other girls but it is any time I do anything without her.

An especially relevant example is that we are going to San Fran in a couple months. I have to go there for a grad school conference but she wants to tag along because of the location. However I told her that I will be unavailable for large portions of this. She is upset that she will have to do things by herself while I am at the conference.

This is something we are working through but of note there is a dinner that my advisor always hosts when we go to this conference. It is really important to him and me. He typically wants it to just be his research group and in the past he has always said no "+1s". My gf is really upset about this and keeps pressuring me to ask him if she can come. I want to ask my advisor because 1, he has already said other people can't come, 2, I don't want to be rude and insist, and 3, I want to have this special dinner without her influence.

How do I tell her that it's not that I don't like her but that me spending time with friends with her there and without her there are just different and I want to experience both.

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tl;dr: How do I deal with my girlfriend feeling left out when I do things without her?

Submitted February 26, 2020 at 11:13AM by shusshbug https://ift.tt/2PuxZkH