Throwaway account. I (21m) would say I am a generally average sort of dude. I don’t really party too much, I don’t drink often at all, I stay inside and play video games when I’m not going to work or school or with my relatively new partner (20f). I will say our relationship has started off moving fairly quickly but we have both noticed it and talked about where we wanted the relationship to go and are now dating and have been for 3 months. She told me today that she was upset at me for not being upset at her. (keep in mind ive never once had any reason before to be angry with her)
I told her I couldn’t come and see her because it was my father’s birthday and I had a few drinks with him and didn’t feel comfortable driving to her house and would stay at my parents place instead. She seemed to get irrationally upset and sort of gave me the cold shoulder for a few hours (i didnt think much of it at the time bc i was having a blast with my old man). I texted her and we started talking about how she was feeling and I apologized for not being able to come over and then she stopped answering altogether. I knew she read these messages though because she has her read receipts on like I do. (we ignore people with our chest) She later hit me with an “OK” to which i opened it and thought “ill talk with her tomorrow when we can talk face to face” and closed my phone and went back to my xbox. She saw i opened it and then sent “WOW. OK. Have a nice week then.”
This opened up a new conversation as I couldn’t just let it sit out like that for the rest of the night. After she had calmed down a little bit, she said she WANTED to have a fight because “You justify everything way too easily. I just want to see a spark of anger in you.” She wouldnt go into more details about this even after I asked her more about it, but I thought it better not to press too hard because I didn’t want more of an argument to be had but I only came away with this one opinion from my brain:
She doesnt think I care enough to be mad and have my emotions run high when she does something I dont approve of. This to me though, could lead to her reaching out in other ways to get me to be angry, and im not saying she WILL do it but because of my own baggage I have a fear it may lead to trying to get me to be jealous and I don’t think I can handle that because I haven’t handled it well in past relationshipS.
I plan to talk to her face to face and try and understand whats going on in her head but I am just confused as to why someone would actively WANT someone else to be angry. It doesn’t make any sense to me why she would try and actively press my buttons to get me to be upset with her. Should I even get angry with her for this? Should this make me upset? The more i type, the more i just feel confused.
TLDR: my gf wants me to be upset at her bc she “wants to see a spark in me” and “I justify everything too easily.”
EDIT: i think i might just be too boring for her tbh :/
Submitted February 23, 2020 at 11:26PM by ZeeroMoneey https://ift.tt/37Wn9KL
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