My work is ruining my marriage

Hi everyone,

I am (33M) writing this in a very tired physical and mental state. I have been married to my wife (32F) for 3 years now and I have a job which requires extensive travel internationally. On average I travel 4 months a year and the schedule is highly erratic. This means we can’t plan anything properly and there is a lot of last minute changes to personal life plans.

I have been looking for jobs and got a few offers out of state so we didn’t really want to move. There is so few jobs around us and most of them also involve travel because of location we are in. Ofcourse I also didn’t get through some interviews. I am not able to give family time to my wife and though I pay all the bills with my work, I feel like I just want to quit everyday. My wife works but she is saving up to buy house for her parents so she doesn’t contribute to bills. Because of this, I don’t have a fall back.

Personally, this has taken a big toll on me. I have body pains, sleep deprived, hunger and so much mental stress. I also feel the pain of not being home. We are always fighting because of this. We both feel lonely and in the verge of divorce. Foolishly because of my persistence, we have put downpayment on a house so we are now stuck here also.

I don’t know what to do. I am desperate and I am juggling so many things on my own. My work also don’t seem to bother much and I have a strange feeling today that everything will come crashing down very soon. Please advice on what I should do?

TLDR: Work travel is killing my marriage and in verge of divorce.

Update 1: Thank you very much for everyone who shared their opinions and concerns. When I return home, I am making an appointment with therapist (for myself) and marriage counselor. Based on how these two go, I will decide whether to continue this marriage or not. Part of me hopes that if have regular 9-5 job, I will be home everyday and things could be normal. Whether we will have patience until new job, only time will tell. I will submit an update after few weeks.

Submitted February 25, 2020 at 03:51PM by mortgage_financing https://ift.tt/2Ti61Kc