I (22F) want to ask my boyfriend (24M) to unfollow this girl on social media and cut all contact with her, but I don’t want to be controlling or abusive.

I’ll do my best to make this short and sweet. We’ve been dating for three years.

In 2018 my boyfriend went to Brazil on a work-study program. He made many friends and had an excellent time and a very beneficial experience.

Last month while he was drunk he confessed that he fell in love with a girl while he was there, but he swears that they didn’t do anything physical even though she tried to convince him to do so, and perhaps it might be naive, but I’m inclined to believe him.

I don’t “know” this girl, but I know of her; I’ve seen him like her pictures on social media and things like that. He said that if I wanted to, I could go through all of their conversation history on Messenger, and I’ll be honest, I took him up on it. She’s very flirty—sending him kissy faces and calling him clever and funny and handsome—and while he’s grateful for the compliments, he always managed to keep the tone platonic.

I’ve been struggling with this for a month now. I’m switching between emotionally feeling betrayed and logically reminding myself that it’s natural for people to develop crushes in long-term relationships, because we’ve been dating for three years. But, here’s where the real kicker comes in: she’s moving to Virginia for a year for an internship, and she’s asked him if they could communicate frequently while she’s there so that she can have someone to tell her about American customs, social standards, etc. because he’s the only American she knows.

Now that I’ve had some time to think about it since his confession, I don’t like this idea. I’ve decided that I want to ask him to unfollow her on all social media and cut communications with her entirely, even thought it would mean that she would be essentially alone in a foreign country and forced to figure things out for herself. But, I know that that’s also generally a “controlling girlfriend” move, so before I brought it up to him, I thought that getting the opinions of others would be a good idea first. I’d also appreciate any advice on how to handle this situation and quit grappling with the fact that my boyfriend developed feelings for someone else.

TL;DR - my boyfriend fell in love with another girl while he was abroad in Brazil but wasn’t ever physically unfaithful and wants to keep a commitment to me. This girl is now moving to America and wants to stay in touch with him because he’s the only American she knows, but I want him to cut contact with her entirely.

Submitted February 28, 2020 at 01:31PM by RosenGirly https://ift.tt/2uFUThZ