Mother (late 60s) nagging me (early 30s) about being "cheap" and not spending money on my baby

My mother has always been sort of bad with money. After years of paying her mortgage, she had more debt on her home than the initial amount because she took out a second mortgage to pay off credit card debt....

I got a huge scholarship to a top university and my dad paid the rest. (My dad on the other hand rarely spends money and is a multi-millionaire. He literally hasn't bought a new shirt in 20 years.) I paid for grad school on my own and made pretty good money. Anyway, I went from -200k net worth to 500k net worth in a period of a few years from savings and investments. At one point, while I still had student loans, I was giving my mom about 4k-5k a year to help her out with finances and also paying for all of her trips to see me.

Now I am expecting a child and my mom has been telling me I "need" to buy all this junk. I am a minimalist - don't own a lot of shit in my home and don't like spending money. My husband and I don't buy a lot of junk. I told her I only need a few items (e.g., stroller, etc.), and bare necessities. My mother yelled at me, calling me "super cheap" and saying "what kind of mother am I to not be excited about buying stuff for my child?" I wasn't planning on renovating a nursery - I was just going to put baby items in one of the spare bedrooms. My mom apparently thinks that this shows that I don't give a shit.

I told her I am thinking of setting up a trust fund for my child so it can have money for a down payment for a house when it's 30 and also a college fund and I don't give a shit about buying useless junk that will only be used for a few months. (Personally I wish my parents did this for me instead of buying me useless junk as a child.)

TL;DR Anyway, my mom is now buying a ton of stuff on her own for my child (even though I told her not to because she doesn't have a lot of money) and calling me cheap because I don't want to blow thousands on junk that will only be used for a few months.

Any tips on how to deal with this? It's just annoying dealing with her constantly calling me cheap, yelling at me about "what kind of mother I am to not spend money" on junk, etc. when she is terrible at managing her own money. There is a reason why my dad (who has never spent money and made more than her) has a lot more money than her in retirement.

Submitted February 22, 2020 at 12:41PM by sighingforlifing https://ift.tt/37PLSR0