Fiancee thinks I'm not committed to marriage because of asking for a pre-nup if I'm going to consider being a stay at home mother. How can I frame the idea of a pre-nup differently so it isn't negative? Are the terms I'm asking for unreasonable?

My fiancee asked me to be a stay at home mom if we have children. I said I would consider it if we have a pre-nup that would give me alimony in addition to child support, a percentage of his retirement, the home we had been living in and $25,000 per child. The pre-nup would also stipulate that these terms only apply if I am a SAHM. Are the terms unreasonable? He thinks the $25,000 per child is especially unreasonable. I don't think it is considering the risk I'm taking by being pregnant, how that will change my body, by giving up my career and my own money. It will be basically impossible for me to afford to leave him were he to become abusive or have an affair. I don't think my partner would do these things, but don't think anyone who ends up in an abusive marriage ever thinks they will end up in one before it's too late. I think if he's committed to treating me well and being faithful the pre-nup shouldn't be an issue.

He thinks my wanting a pre-nup means I'm not committed or that I don't love him enough.

Am I being unreasonable for asking for financial security provided by him in the event of a divorce? How do I get him to understand my side of things and come around? Is there a better way to frame why I want a pre-nup agreement? If you are a man, would your fiancée asking for a pre-nup make you feel like sh didn't love you?

TLDR; Fiancee thinks I'm not committed and don't love him enough because of asking for a pre-nup if I'm going to be a SAHM. Are the terms I've set unreasonable and can I frame this differently to make him understand why the pre-nup is important?

EDIT: I realize we both have to see legal council. I thought this would be implied and didn't need to be spelled out.

EDIT 2: We're both US based and I would only get 6 weeks of unpaid maternity leave. My fiancee refuses to be a SAHD, this isn't an option.

Submitted February 29, 2020 at 03:32PM by throwaway82061 https://ift.tt/3a8ThMK