How can I talk to my husband about wanting to change my last name? Or should I even change my last name or just leave it alone at this point because it's been so long?
When we got married 6 years ago I changed my maiden name to his. Looking back in retrospect I was kind of pressured and rushed into it and got my documents together and it all happened very quickly. He was married once before me straight out of high school and quickly divorced and expressed at various times how upset he was that his ex wife never took his last name. I was young and wanted to make him happy so changed mine almost immediately without giving it much thought.
Over the years as I've gotten older I've semi regretted it. I love my husband but my last name was cultural and had a lot meaning for me. It made me feel tied to my culture and cultural community. My family came here as refugees and to this day cannot go back to our home country and my country has had a history of genocide so it's been important for me to keep my culture alive for myself if that makes sense. My first and middle names are pretty foreign sounding and just dont go with his last name, with my maiden name they flow. I'm trying to articulate as best as I can but taking on his last name over time has made me feel like I lost my identity and my connection to my culture, people, and home.
I brought it up to him once in passing and he got really upset and offended. I dont see it going over well and was curious if anyone had any advice as to how I could talk to him about this. Is it too late to even change it and I'm being unreasonable even bringing this up to him? All I foresee is him being hurt and offended and arguing with me about it because it was important to him that his wife take his last name.
tl;dr How can I talk to my husband about changing my last name? Is it unreasonable to even want to change it this many years later? Was young when I took on his name but over time have started to feel a loss of identity and connection to my culture.
Submitted February 24, 2020 at 08:32PM by lastnameadvice435 https://ift.tt/2T7VxwQ
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