How do I (24F) convince my (25M) SO of ~7 years that he needs to do his fair share of the mental work load?

We have been living together for ~4 years and recently bought a house together this past fall. We both work full time, we have no children, but we do have a dog together.

The concept of the mental load is basically having a running mental list of all of the components that go into running a house hold. (i.e. what might we need on a grocery list, what is available to eat for dinner, what settings to wash certain items on, when do we need to replace the air filter on the furnace, where do we keep the mixing bowls, etc.)

This largely falls to me and his defense is that all I have to do is ask him to do something and he will do it. The problem is that I feel like I shouldn't have to ask him to do certain things, that he should know (the same way I do) what and/or how something needs to be done.

He is very helpful and will do (some) tasks/chores of his own accord. But it feels like all of the thinking work falls to me, which is really overwhelming.

I am concerned that if we ever do decide to get married and/or have kids that this issue will only be exacerbated, and I'll end up resenting him.

How do I explain this to him without seeming like I'm nagging or whining, and without it turning into an argument?

TL;DR! I feel like I am doing all of the mental work involved in running our household. How do I non-confrontationally bring this up to my partner to convince him that there is a disparity in the division of labor in this area? And how do I go about showing him how to close the gap?

Submitted February 28, 2020 at 10:12AM by mtomz2020 https://ift.tt/2VBzAcj