We’re a group of three female friends aged 29 (me), 30, and 31. 30 has had very little by way of life experience, due to her upbringing. It limits her worldview and makes it difficult to discuss certain things with her, because for her on the outside looking in, things always seem to have a really easy answer. This is exacerbated by the fact that she is constantly giving unsolicited advice that’s often just... well, it’s just terrible. She sees the world as very black and white, and has a difficult time seeing nuance in life.
For instance:
31F: My LDR boyfriend and I are having a hard time communicating right now. 30F: Sounds like you should break up. 31F:....no, we’re not breaking up. I’m just trying to work through our communication issues. 30F: scoffs Fine, I guess I have no advice to give you.
Or:
Me (29F): I missed the sale on that cellphone I wanted! Dang. 30F: Just buy this other brand. Me: I’ve actually looked into that one! I’ve heard that one’s good, but I really want this other brand! 30F: I was just trying to help....
So for some reason, her giving unsolicited and often bad advice and us not taking it is a trigger for her, and she often sulks for several hours afterwards. This is despite us trying to find creative ways to say things like, “oh that’s a cool idea!” or “I hadn’t thought of that! I’ll keep it in mind!” She’s even gotten upset after the fact, when it became obvious that we didn’t take her advice and go to a certain clothing store to buy shoes (we showed up wearing shoes of a different brand, and didn’t speak to us for an hour!)
Not to say ALL of her ideas are bad, but this specific situation is difficult! Any advice on how to reframe my responses? Bonus points if you’ve ever interacted with someone like this and can give me some insight on what could be going through her mind!
Thank you!
Tl;dr: our friend gives terrible, “black and white” advice and gets offended when we don’t take it. Help!
Submitted February 25, 2020 at 03:08PM by shireengul https://ift.tt/2w4Z9YJ
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