My mom (48/F) has never officially 'grown up,' and has lived with my grandma (71/F) her whole life, and my grandma isn't going to be here much longer. I really need advice.

My mom has never moved out of home, has never been married, and quite frankly has never even been in a serious relationship. My mom doesn't help with bills, the only bills she does take care of are her car payment, car insurance, medical bills, credit card payments and some groceries and that's about it. She doesn't pay rent. She barely saves her money. She has worked full time for 25 years at a job making around $11/hour. I am her only child.

My grandma's house is being left to my mom. The house is paid off, which saves my mom from mortgage or rent, but she's still left with house insurance, taxes, property tax, utilities, her life insurance premiums and house repairs, on top of her above responsibilities.

My grandma has told me before and told me again that she doesn't know what my mom is going to do when she passes. She seems to think that I should continue the toxic pattern of letting my mom do what she wants while I pay her bills. I just want my mom to finally gain complete independence and work toward a goal, but it seems like my grandma doesn't want that for her.

While I'm not married yet, I will be married. My future husband cares for my mom just as much as I do and wants what is best for her, but realistically, we're going to have responsibilities of our own. We have professional careers. I fear the circumstances putting stress on our marriage. I feel like I'm being punished for my grandparents' sheltering.

I don't know if I can manage my mom's money for her. She's a perfectly capable adult, is still able to work, and doesn't exactly need someone to manage her money. She doesn't need a power of attorney. I'd hate to pay a lawyer to take care of her money for her.

How in the hell do I re-parent my own mother?

Tl;dr I need help, my mom has been sheltered her whole life by my grandparents and soon will have to take on adult responsibilities on her own.

Submitted February 26, 2020 at 11:39AM by mrs_piggy_ https://ift.tt/2Pv9gwO