I used to spend time with this guy whom I’ll call Jon. Jon was a pretty tall, skinny, decently handsome fella who was really intelligent academically. Music, electronics; he knew everything about everything as far as what interested him. But he was even smarter In the Machiavellian sense.
This guy wasn’t a 10, buff, and didn’t even dress that well. But god damn if he wasn’t a charismatic genius. This guy could pull every single person he came into contact with into his frame. And he did it by barely uttering a word. The majority of the time, the only sounds that came from him were “Yup!” Or “Mhm”. And Mhm isn’t even a fucking word.
I remember always being drawn to this guy and wanting him to like me, not understanding why I wanted his validation so much. It was only once I discovered TRP and machiavellinism that I can look back and figure out why: this guy literally embodied Rule 4: Always Say Less Than Necessary. Because he always projected a strong vibe of giving you his full attention and throwing in small acknowledgments as you spoke, you grew comfortable with him quickly and wanted to open up to him more and more.
So I decided to try this for myself as part of the progress I’m making in learning the 48 laws. The results have been.... pretty mind blowing.
Let me first say that keeping your mouth shut is hard. Especially when you like the conversation you’re having with someone. But learning to stifle that immediate need to open your gab is par for the course with learning the laws. I’ll also add that I like to talk. A lot. So it was tough only responding with “Mhm” and “yup”.
My first target was my buddy who I’ll call Cory. While I don’t condone practicing on your friends, it is what it is and I’m not moralizing. I’m here to get results. Cory is typically very quiet, and can be hard to read. He doesn’t laugh much because he’s so reserved. But he’s a good guy and I enjoy his company.
Once I started doing the Mhms and Yups, I didn’t think it was having any effect. It also felt a bit strange as I pushed through my “this isn’t right to do” voice in the back of my head that I’m learning to silence. Results aren’t always immediate. Because by the end of the day, this guy was talking and laughing like I’d never seen before. All because I gave him attention, asked pointed, open ended questions and acknowledged him with the least amount of effort possible. I don’t know how much less effort you can exert than Yup or Mhm other than silence, but if you can I implore you to tell me.
I’ve read before how people really can’t stand silence and will do anything to avoid it. But now I’m seeing it in action. Couple that with the fat that people who reveal things about themselves to you feel closer to you and you can see how you can really make Law 4 work in your favor.
Submitted July 30, 2018 at 08:51AM by Noblefiz https://ift.tt/2LONgMs
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