I [34/M] feel responsible for everything, while wife [30/F] doesn't pull her weight.

So this one is tough to write, but...it's been building up for awhile now and i've tried to communicate this to my wife but I haven't seen anything change. But basically the jist of it is I am getting overwhelmed with the amount of chores/responsibilities that I end up doing.

First and foremost, we've been married for 6 years and honestly besides this issue everything is "mostly" good. We've had our fights in the past but things have improved considerably over the years. That being said I am a very clean person and like our house to be nice and neat (I don't expect perfection obviously, and I know things can't be 100% clean ALL the time) but I hate "clutter" especially when it can be easily thrown away.

So first of all let me go through my responsibilities:

1. Mowing/Lawn Maintenance
2. Trash (Taking it out, bringing up garbage cans weekly)
3. Dishes (My wife has a super sensitive smell, so the dirty dishes will literally make her gag. I don't mind doing them HOWEVER when I empty the dishwasher and she puts it in the sink it literally drives me nuts)
4. Picking up the constant clutter that gets left everywhere (Wrappers/Drink Cups/etc...)
5. Vacuuming (My wife does vacuum occasionally, maybe once every couple of months)
6. Paying all Bills
7. Feeding the Cats (Also cleaning out their automatic water fountain which gets nasty every couple of weeks)
8. Any Other General Maintenance with the house
9. Cooking (Although Im "generally" home earlier so this one makes more sense, it would be nice to have a break though)

My wife does:

1. Clean the master bathroom (Once every 3 months maybe, we are each responsible for 1 bathroom (2 bathroom house)
2. Her Laundry (As discussed, we each do our own).

One thing we both do for ourselves is our own laundry, I was originally doing laundry most of the time but got tired of doing hers, folding it, only for it to be left on the floor. So we each do our own laundry.

So as you can see, it's HORRIBLY unbalanced. Used to I could point out that I needed help and she would help but then just go back to her old ways. I would be a LOT less upset if after I clean the house that she would at least ATTEMPT to maintain it. For instance I just cleaned upstairs (Our main "Living room" area) which had random papers and such all over the place. Literally next day I see 2 leftover candy wrapped, more misc. papers, and a leftover soda bottle just laying on the floor (Empty) after she had gone to sleep.

I feel like im about to lose my mind. The bigger kicker is now that she's pregnant (around 1.5 months pregnant now) things have gotten even worse. Now I understand pregnancy = you are very tired. I get that...but now if I even bring anything up it's "IM pregnant Im sooo tired" basically guilting me in asking for help. So....It worries me that this is how it's going to be with a kid.

Wtf do I do? I mean I understand being pregnant makes you tired...but I mean does that completely remove any responsibility? Also keep in mind this has been going on WAYYYY before she was pregnant.

FWIW we both work 40 hour per week jobs (She works retail, I work at a Software Company)

tl,dr: Bitter about doing all the housework, wife barely chips in.

Submitted July 31, 2018 at 09:14AM by mercfh85 https://ift.tt/2vlsg63