Me [29 M] with my Wife [30 F] Of 3 years, found out she cheated and has no intent on reconciliation. What are my next steps?

This happened only an hour ago. I'm hurt, I'm lost, I am betrayed. We have a 3 year old together. She's abandoned our relationship and our life. I knew something was up when she started working later nights, spending the night at friends, etc. She kept saying she just didn't like my company anymore and hated everything about being with me.

I've always known cheating was a possibility, but I did not have any proof. Today, I found the proof. Going through our phone bill, I found she had been texting the same number 4,000 times the last month, last thing before she'd go to bed, first thing when she woke up. She had over a hundred hours of phone calls with him in a single month, and the vacation she bailed out on, she bailed on to go and cheat some more.

I confronted her about it, as I had countless times before, but this time I had a name. I had looked up his name. I told her that we could do this civilly or uncivily, and if she just came clean about it, I'm not going to make a scene.

So she did. She's been seeing him since May. She's done it in our house a couple times, never on the bed. She's done it on two trips. It was an old boyfriend that lives in the area. She did it "because we were in a rough time, and she grabbed lunch with him and it just happened."

I asked if she wanted any reconciliation and she said "I'm not sure." I told her that's not good enough, and I needed to no, so she said "Then no."

So...

Now what do I do? I'm only an hour out of this. I'm in tears, I'm torn apart, I'm in pain. My dad is visiting this week, I just got off the phone with him. He'll be helping with any divorce proceedings.

I just don't even know where to start.

tl;dr: Wife cheated, doesn't want reconciliation, I don't know where to go from here.

Update: Thanks for all of the advice, everyone. I have lawyered up and consulted with two attorneys already. I know my options, and I seem to have good standing based on everything I've talked to them about.

Update number 2: Just booked an appointment with a counselor specializing in marriage, divorce, and separation for individuals and couples. Thank you again, all of you, for your outpouring of support. This is a very difficult time for me and it's comforting that all of you came to my advice.

Submitted July 31, 2018 at 08:23AM by christianalt https://ift.tt/2LDCQjD