My ex and I broke up around four months ago after dating for a little over a year. She was the one who broke up with me but at the time I agreed that it was for the best so we ended things on good terms. We're pretty chill now and we have mutual friends so we often all hang out together. So things between us are chill and friendly.
I work at a research lab at my university and I just recently landed the position after a pretty damn long (and competitive) application/interviewing process. I met my boss, who's a grad student and we became buddies pretty fast. He's a really nice and funny dude that knows what he's doing. I see him everyday since me and some other undergrads work under him and help with his research while he helps use with our own.
Fast forward about two weeks and I see on my ex's snapchat story a fucking picture of my boss with a heart emoji. I'm shocked as fuck so I reply to her story asking her who her new boy is and sure enough she tells me she's dating my boss. I feign happiness for her and I don't tell her that he's my boss or that I know him in any way. But damn, I felt like someone just stabbed me in the heart. I though I didn't have feelings for after our break-up but after seeing her story, I was just hit with a pang of jealousy. Maybe it's because he's a major step-up from me. I'm a poor, disorganized undergrad and and he's a successful, young talent who has his shit together.
The next day at work I'm basically on edge the whole day. I would look at my boss, remember that he's dating my ex and just feel so uncomfortable. The rest of the week was like that too. I stopped joking around with him and kind of just stopped talking in general to him. Now I dread seeing him everyday because the fact that he's my boss, so he orders me around, just makes me feel shittier and more "below" him. He's got the girl and I've got no one. I still love my job though and I worked so hard to get it so I'm not planning on leaving. I also feel like a shitty person since my boss has been nothing less of nice and is honestly, a great guy.
Now I just feel like I should've tried harder in our relationship because damn, she was pretty perfect in every way and I just let is all slip through. The other day, she came over to have lunch with him during his lunch break and I saw them laughing together and yea, another wave of sadness and jealousy.
What do I even do now. How do I stop feeling like this? How should I normalize the situation at work?
TL;DR: My ex started dating my boss at my new job that I worked my ass off to get. Thought I was long over her but when I saw them together, I was hit with so much pain and jealousy. I'm not coping well at work but I'm not going to leave my job. Any suggestions on what I should do at this point?
Submitted July 29, 2018 at 11:29AM by throwawayaye22 https://ift.tt/2OvhnXV
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