Background: We have been married about two years. I have a 15 year old daughter from previous relationship. My daughters mother (DM) and I have had an amicable for the most part partnership raising daughter. Up til my marriage. DM is married and there is nothing suspicious regarding our relationship. Although wife was always saying we were too close and it was unnecessary for her to be around so much at family functions, etc. that’s how things had always been for sake of my daughter . Just seemed normal to me and my family. Eventually it came to a head just before we married. DM and I were in frivolous dispute and wife spoke up in group text with me, DM and wife. DM said some things that were rude, offensive and belittled our marriage. After that wife wanted me to go NC with DM. This caused a big rift within my family. This has been major point of contention with my wife and I and is a major problem as I don’t want to go NC as my daughter lives an hour away and it’s easier to coordinate and know about daughter. Relationship w daughter also became strained. This has been ongoing. Then my family got involved and had offended my wife as they were getting involved. My wife made me realize there were boundary issues within my family. Mainly that my family doesn’t have boundaries. I finally recognize this and addressed my family through lengthy email and conversations. Since then one sister apologized to wife for rude text she sent. Other sister wouldn’t apologize and I am NC with her for past 3 months. It came to a head again last week after I reached out to DM because my daughter wasn’t responding to my calls or texts. DM offers advice and I take daughter to lunch. Things are looking up and when I share the information with wife she blows up and tells me I need to go NC with DM and my sisters. Basically saying that these people have have disrespected her and our marriage. I think her stance is too harsh. I have set boundaries with these people and know better now how to manage the relationships. Wife is filing for divorce today I think. Only way to save marriage is if I agree to go NC with DM and both sisters. I am pleading with wife to trust that I recognize my errors letting others influence my feelings and get me worked up causing fights w wife. Family is clear where they stand and wife is first but nobody can accept her hard stance on all of these relationships. Although they are staying out of it now. I have definitely limited my relationships with them but I don’t think I need to go NC. There should be some understanding from wife. My family is very close and I am in very tough position. Upcoming things like graduation parties and other events for my daughter I will either need to miss or i have to celebrate separately without DM present. Basically it’s Wife or my family (and contact w DM). What to do?
TL/DR: wife will divorce me if I do t agree to go NC with sisters and daughter’s mother.
Submitted July 31, 2018 at 09:46AM by whatstrue123 https://ift.tt/2NZSItw
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