Preface:
This post was inspired by askTRP. This post isn't geared towards how to get dates or how to do well in them or anything like that. Instead its more of a way to help push you guys into having a better attitude/mind-set on how you go about dates. Again, this post is intended for inexperienced guys. Also this whole post doesn't apply to online dating or social media.
Purpose of Dates: In the context of dating a new person, the ONLY purpose a date serves is to put you in a logistical situation where you can escalate.
Bad Habbits Guys Display Regarding Dates: A lot of guys aren't even aware of how crippling their behaviors can be. Its important to know whether any of the following bullet points apply to you so that you can begin to improve.
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Having the goal of attaining numbers/dates: 99% of inexperienced guys do this. YOU ARE JUST PUTTING YOURSELF IN A CHASING FRAME BY DOING THIS. If you are already in a social setting where you can escalate, then do so there. There is no need to postpone the escalation or falsely feed your ego by seeking the validation of a phone number or date. Have more assertive goals like physically escalating, taking her home etc.
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Viewing dates as the entree instead of the dessert: Just like desserts come after the entree, a date should come AFTER you already CLEARLY ESTABLISHED great sexual chemistry and connection with a girl, not before hand. 99% of flakes happen because the girl isn't mentally or emotionally ready to accept you in a "dating" context yet so she feels too much pressure/anxiety and bails on you. Put in that time and effort first to connect with her and escalate the interaction before you pitch for a date. This is important because it keeps you from being the one chasing and trying to pitch for dates.
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Doing too much: Unless shes your gf you shouldn't be putting much effort on dates, keep it simple and casual. Do something like coffee or drinks. Happy hours are good too, do not go taking a girl to dinner/bowling/movies, those type of dates are reserved for LTR. The main activity in the date should be talking, refrain from places where its logistically hard to interact/escalate.
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Being the ping guy: There is always that one guy who just keeps hitting a girl up for the sole purpose of trying to pitch for a date. Stop being so persistent, if she said no to you twice delete her number and move on. Some of you guys believe every little stupid excuse a girl gives and you keep chasing her and stroking her ego. If shes not interested stop being a pest and leave her the fuck alone.
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Going on too many dates before anything noteworthy happens: This bullet point is only subject to flexibility if you are experienced. If things haven't really gone anywhere by the 2nd date then you are moving too slow and the girl will QUICKLY loose interest.
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Trying to go out on a date with chick who just wants some D: Some girls sometimes just want the D, maybe she wants to get revenge on a cheating bf or whatever the case might be. If you sense that she falls into that category then INVITE HER TO YOUR PLACE ASAP. Obviously use plausible deniability, these type of chicks you literally have to fuck em on the first chance or they will ghost on you.
Techniques For Dating:
I personally only go on dates with LTR's or as an absolute last resort. The only time I actually pitch for dates is when I have a girls number or social media and I NEVER see her in person. If I bump into her regularly then I will just use that setting to escalate.
Reframing Dates:
If I feel like I haven't escalated or flirted with the girl enough in person and the sexual chemistry isn't established, I will ALWAYS reframe the date. If it comes across as a date it will sound more intimidating than if its just something casual. I will friend-zone her and make it seem like the date is something casual, for example I would say something like "Hey you seem like a good drinking buddy, lblah blah blah lets go get beers". Its a lot easier to actually meet up with her if its something casual. This keeps you from being in a chasing frame and it won't make the existing relationship awkward if she ends up rejecting you.
Another thing to be aware of is that you cannot ignore the power of establishing good sexual chemistry first, if that hasn't been established then you are coming off in a bad frame and the chances that she will meet up with you are very low.
Alternatives to Dates:
Your first priority should always be to escalate in the setting where you mostly see the girl in. Don't be that pussy who finds every excuse to not escalate in a certain place, you can escalate and flirt pretty much in any location.
If you end up in a rare situation where you cannot escalate in the setting you are in then try to move her to a close appropriate place. If its school for example then go with her somewhere after class. Use any stupid excuse like "I need new clothes for this party im going to, come with me to help me pick an outfit". Its very easy to move her into a different setting and its a lot more convenient than shooting for a date. You don't actually have to go to the store, be creative guys. A coffee shop or ice cream shop could "conviniently" be between the school and a store and you just happen to be hot or thirsty and need to make that pit stop.
I hope this post helps some of you guys be more assertive and to stop using dates as an excuse to withhold escalation. Flirt and escalate with her regardless of the setting!
Submitted July 29, 2018 at 09:47PM by BeeBopJoe https://ift.tt/2vfHVUh
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