I [22 F] got him [30? M] un-invited from college parties, for being a creep to freshmen. I just found out he's a superior to me, at my new job.

When I was in college, I was in an academic club. We'd often have house parties, at various club members houses. I started when I was a sophomore, and I noticed there was this guy Josh who was way older than anyone else at a lot of the parties, who would go and hit on the youngest girls. (I'd say he was about 10 years older than these girls) Apparently he was an alumni of the club, and I assumed he was close with the club leadership, so I figured there was nothing to be done.

He never flirted with me, maybe it was the fact that I'm openly queer, maybe it's the way I've been told I've got a "take no shit" attitude. But Josh made a lot of the other girls in the club uncomfortable. I remember one of my friends from the club, a freshman, quit the club after he grabbed her by the neck at a party "as a joke" and wouldn't let her go.

As I got more involved in the club over the years, and got closer to the club leadership and a lot of the members, I started to suspect that other girls in the club were uncomfortable around Josh. It was kinda an open secret that he'd pursue freshman and sophomores hard, but lose interest in anyone older than that. Most of the guys in the club were oblivious to this.

I was having a "girls night out" with a bunch of friends from this club, after I'd been involved with it for years and had made some great friends there. I brought up how creepy Josh was. It was the first time I'd spoken about it openly, and it was like the floodgates opened. Every single person there had stories to tell about their own experiences with him, that they'd felt alone in. We all decided that night that when one of us held a party in the future, Josh wouldn't be invited. And if any of the guys in the club threw a party, I volunteered to tell them that many of the women in the club (without naming names) wouldn't be comfortable with Josh being there.

I actually did have to talk to a couple of the guys in the club, asking them not to bring Josh to parties, and they all took it so well. A lot of them said they wished someone had told them before, they didn't want anyone to be harassed at their parties. That was a great surprise, I was worrying they'd defend their friend.

I didn't see Josh again at a party after that, but I heard through word of mouth that he blamed me for no longer being welcome at parties. I guess that makes sense, since I did kinda act as "the spokesperson" for a bunch of the girls who didn't want to be named, when I talked to the club leadership, and some of the guys who'd throw parties. I figured all that was over and done with though...

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I just got a job at an engineering company, that I was super excited about. And on my first day of work, I found out that Josh works as a system engineer, while I'll be working as a subsystem engineer. So he's not my direct manager, but he does act as a superior to people on my team. When I saw him, I acted polite, but as if I didn't recognize him.

One of my coworkers asked me in the first week whether Josh and I had some kind of beef, because apparently Josh had told a few of his friends at work to be careful what they say around me, because I "tend to overreact" and "snitch". I gave a very non-committal answer, just responding to her question with a question... "Wow, do you know why he said that". My coworker said no.

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Right now, I'm panicking. I'm worried Josh is going to do something to fuck me over professionally, at this job that I was so excited about.

I don't know whether I should clue HR in on our past conflict, and his apparent comments at work. Or if that would not be appropriate. I just don't know what's normal to do at a job, this is my first job that's not a summer retail gig.

TLDR - I just started at a job with a guy in his 30s who is apparently angry with me for getting him un-invited from college parties.

Submitted July 31, 2018 at 10:25AM by Uggghhhhhhhhh https://ift.tt/2OyJKVo