3 weeks ago I (27F) was groped by my new manager (40ishM) at a company party. Things haven't been the same with my fiance (27M) since.

Throwaway because my fiance reddits. We've been together nearly 7 years.

3 weeks ago I started a new job. At the end of the first week, there was a company party/away day & night, and I attended, as did my new manager and the rest of the company.

I'll keep it short as this isn't about what happened that night, but my manager grew increasingly creepy as the night drew on, groping my ass several times, grabbing the back of my neck when I was at the bar, making leery comments towards me. I didn't know what to do, I didn't stick up for myself, I didn't ask him to stop, I just mentally froze and just kept walking away from him. He kept finding me again and again. I was so new and I didn't really have anyone to look out for me apart from one other new girl who could see what was happening and tried to keep herself in-between us. This all culminated in him telling me he liked me, and asked to kiss me. At this point I walked away crying. A senior member of the company saw me upset, and asked me if my manager had done something to me. She told me that he has a reputation for doing this (it wasn't a one off) and asked me to tell the founder of the company. I did, and the company handled it perfectly, suspending him the next day, having a hearing two days later, and firing him.

I could hardly sleep that night, and as soon as my fiance was awake I called him and told him what had happened. He was so supportive and kind, was so angry at my manager, he was just completely on my side. He handled everything perfectly - not once asking me what I was wearing or anything like that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he didn't do anything wrong that could have triggered what happened next.

When I got back home, I was ok for a couple of days.

Then everything just went wrong... I don't know if I hadn't processed everything or not, but all of a sudden I didn't want my fiance touching me, hugging me, kissing me. I didn't want to be around him. I told him I didn't even know if I wanted to be with him, that I wasn't sure about getting married. I started fantasising about living in a 2x2 metre cabin in my parents garden, completely isolated. I thought about jumping on a plane and leaving, going anywhere. I was craving being alone so so so badly. It's not that I don't love him, because I do. But I just wanted to be on my own so desperately. I also just stopped caring about stuff I normally love. Like my tomato plants that have taken me months to grow, I just stopped watering them. I stopped cooking which I normally love doing. Started having to buy lunch every day because I wasn't cooking as much. The house hasn't been cleaned properly in weeks. I'm ironing a shirt for my fiance every morning because I'm so behind on the washing. And I'm so tired because I'm pretty stressed with my new job & it's longer hours than my previous one... so I just work, watch Netflix, think about work, and sleep mostly.

Then I got my period, and I wondered if it was all just PMS...I do get it pretty bad. I'm still so confused though because those feelings of wanting to be alone are still there (not as much, but haven't disappeared) and my relationship with my fiance isn't back to normal. This morning he tried to touch me in bed, and I got so angry at him.

Today I've had a day off and all I've done is sit on my PC. I've not cleaned, or cooked, or played games, or done anything. I've just sat on reddit and facebook and looked at birthday presents for my fiance.

I just want to see if anyone can offer me any advice or insight. I'm so confused and sad. I read r\relationships all the time and I know the usual things are talking to each other, going to therapy etc. I've no idea where to even start looking at a therapist and I've been as honest as I can with my fiance. I don't know what else to do.

TLDR; Was groped at a company party. Ever since I've wanted complete isolation and nothing to do with my fiance, and it's obviously affected our relationship. Just want to fix it.

Submitted July 30, 2018 at 07:57AM by Specific_Potato https://ift.tt/2mSMgZV