So when I was growing up, my family was pretty poor. But they wanted me to do better for myself in life, so they really pushed me to value education and go to college. I was the first one in my family to go to college. Even with scholarships, they spent a lot on my education, more than they could really afford. It exhausted their emergency fund, and they did without a lot to get me through college.
I literally picked my major because it was number one on the list of top paying careers you can get with a bachelor's degree. I didn't want me or my family to have to worry about money again.
I always wanted to be able to pay my parents back for my education, even though I didn't know how I would; they're too proud to let me give them cash. But for the few years I've been out of college, I've been saving up a "mom and dad" fund. I've also been looking out for myself, putting a lot into my retirement savings and house savings.
Last month, my parents pickup truck broke down for good. They live out in the country where having a car or truck is absolutely necessary, and I knew my dad needed a vehicle to get to work.
I went out to a dealership right away on Friday and bought a truck, paid for it in full. I picked one that was reliable and cheap to insure and maintain. Then I took the long drive out to surprise them with it Saturday morning.
I hadn't had a chance to talk to my boyfriend about the truck before I bought it. He was away on business that week, in an opposite time zone. And while I texted him "Shit my dad's truck is busted" right away, he didn't see it until I'd already bought the truck and given it to my parents. I'd been in a big rush to get the truck there before Monday, so my dad would have it for the work week.
My boyfriend texted me back after all that, asking "what happened?". I told him "blown head gasket, but it's ok, I replaced it" He said "I didn't know you were a mechanic" and I said "No I mean the truck"
That whole exchange took a day because we were in basically opposite tine zones. But when I said I replaced the whole truck, he called me immediately, even though it was late for me.
He basically told me that it was crazy of me to make such a big financial decision without talking to him.
I told him "You know that money and more was already set aside for my family, I just hadn't known till now what exactly I'd be needing it for."
He said "You said your parents would never take money from you."
I said that's why I'd bought a truck instead of giving them cash straight up, because I thought they'd accept a gift but probably wouldn't take a check from me.
It became pretty obvious that he saw my "mom and dad fund" as something I'd not actually spend on my parents; because they'd just refuse to take the money. And it had come as a big surprise that I took 18,000 out of it, and they actually took the truck I bought with it.
I got pretty upset, saying "What did you think I was doing saving that money? Just a silly idea, that I'd never go through with?"
He just kept going on about how I said once that my parents were too proud to take cash.
Since then, he's been passive agressive about me being "secretive" and also "impulsive" even though I never tried to be any of those things.
And I'm mad it seems like he didn't take it seriously when I said that money was set aside to take care of my parents.
Should I have talked with my boyfriend about the truck before I bought it? Or is he being disrespectful, not taking me saying I wanted to provide for my family seriously?
TLDR - I bought my parents a pick up truck, and my boyfriend is mad he didn't hear about it until after I did it.
ETA - We've been together for 5 years. We live together in an apartment, and split the rent and bills, but our finances are separate otherwise.
Submitted July 30, 2018 at 07:04AM by Lilleggo https://ift.tt/2LMHLy5
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