I (32/F) have no patience for my husband (32/M) of three years anymore and I’m not sure how to fix this or even bring this to his attention without worrying him.

I just want to make clear on the fact that I don’t want to leave him. This is something I need to work on. He hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s just ... in the past few months, everything he says and does, just annoys me in the strangest, most inexplicable way. Things I didn’t notice or really pay attention to before, annoy me like crazy when we’re together now.

These are all little things.

He’s always really loud in the kitchen. I’m not sure if I simply didn’t notice it before or if this is something new. He opens and closes drawers as if he’s trying to break them, slams dishes and drinking glasses down on the counter or in the sink, shakes everything in the dishwasher with how hard he closes it, etc.

He works in radio, and I guess because of that, speaks in idioms, often uses the same two or three phrases in conversation, etc., to the point that it’s difficult for me to have even a brief exchange with him.

“I’m picking up what you’re putting down.”

“Hit the nail on the head.”

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

I get that we all use expressions like that sometimes, but he probably uses them at least two or three times a day with me alone. And it often feels like he’s simply not paying attention to the conversation or brushing me off when he speaks to me like that. I’m aware that I sound crazy pointing this out and that a marriage could have much bigger problems, but imagine living with someone whose replies consist of the same few expressions. It’s like talking to a recording of him instead of the real person. And I know he’s not actually brushing me off when he talks to me like that. It’s just this thing he does that I can’t stand anymore.

He also never cleans up after himself after he’s taken a shower. Somehow he’ll get water everywhere. On the floor, on the walls, on the mirror. And we have a pretty big bathroom, so I honestly have no idea how he manages to get water in every corner like that. I’ve washed our two dogs in there and made less of a mess. When I ask him to wipe up when he’s done, so I don’t have to, he always tells me that he does and that he simply “didn’t see” the water that’s left. It makes me feel like a parent when he does this. And unless I want to get my socks wet, I have to wipe at least the floors down because I know he won’t.

I feel ridiculous even typing all this out, because these are just things married couples deal with. You have to get used to and learn to live with each other, even the little things that annoy you. But I didn’t feel this way until a few months ago. Nothing really happened. I just found myself growing impatient with him. Again, he’s done nothing wrong. He’s the same loving guy who I married, and I still love him of course, but I’m just not sure I like him anymore. And I want to fix that but I’m not sure how to go about doing so. Not without talking to him about this, potentially sounding as crazy as I sound in this post, and making it worse.

I find myself looking forward to time away from him more than anything else. Last weekend he went on a trip with his guy friends, and it was probably the best weekend I’ve had in months. Also, and this might be something he’s picked up on, but because of all of this, I find myself to be less sexually attracted to him than I was before. When we do have sex, I’m nowhere near as responsive or as involved as I used to be. And it’s not because I have no sexual desire at all. I just ... don’t feel have that desire for him anymore, and I feel horrible because of it, because again, he’s done nothing wrong.

I know I have to talk to him about this in order to work through it. Maybe not give him all of the details, but ... certainly let him know that I need some sort of change. He could feel the same. I don’t think he does based on the fact that he’s just as loving as ever, but there’s a chance I’m not alone in this weird shift. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to bring this up, how to properly explain without saying too much and hurting him or making him think I want to leave him. Because I don’t want that. I want to be with him. I want to work through this.

I’ve asked him if he could handle things in the kitchen a little softer, and he does for a day, and then he goes back to normal. As for the expressions that he uses in conversation, I haven’t talked to him about that. To be honest that one annoys me the most. And it’s such a strange thing for me to have noticed anyway. I’ve got no idea how to tell him without sounding like a b-word who simply can’t stand him anymore.

Suggestions?

tl;dr Little things he does are starting to annoy me to the point that I look forward to time without him. I want to fix this, but I’m not sure how to do without telling him and potentially hurting him or creating an even bigger problem over nothing. He’s done nothing wrong. He’s a great guy. I’m just constantly annoyed when I’m around him now.

Submitted July 29, 2018 at 04:11PM by isthisfixable85 https://ift.tt/2uYV0C6