I (22F) have been with my bf (30M) for 2 years. We started dating right before the pandemic. He moved in with me very fast, since quarantine was starting and we thought it would be a good idea.
During the past 2 years we have had many fights, about him snooping through my past (insecurities, jealousy, moral high-ground, mistrust), not helping around the house (doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean and he had a skiing accident last winter and subsequent knee surgery a few months ago so he has been absolutely helpless for almost a year) and not doing anything with his life (no job, no studies, being on the ps5 all day every day).
All of this has had its toll on me to the point where I haven’t been taking care of myself (depression, binge eating, weight gain, bad self-image, low libido, not focusing on uni). I’m basically the shadow of the girl I once was.
I have started to resent him for the way he carries himself through life, constantly complaining about every little thing all while not doing anything to fix his situation. I feel like his energy is affecting me and bringing the worst parts of me out (laziness, resentment, staying in my comfort zone)
All of this said, I still love him. I care about him greatly and want only the best for him. But I have realised that I am no longer « in love » with him and this relationship is not fulfilling for me.
I have tried multiple times to break up with him, but I always back track or I put it off. When I see how much I hurt him and when he cries I crumble underneath this guilt and concern. I feel incredibly responsible for him even though he is a grown man and should be able to take care of himself. Thinking about the whole process of him moving out of my apartment, while having to stay strong and not back track seems incredibly difficult, almost impossible.
I guess my question is: how do I get over this guilt and put myself first by ending this draining relationship? Have any of you been in a similar situation?
TLDR: I want to break up with my bf who lives at my place, but I feel horrible guilt because I feel responsible for him. How do I get through this without back-tracking again?
Submitted December 11, 2021 at 04:40PM by United_Career_4559 https://ift.tt/31ODowo
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