For reference, he and I have been together for almost 3 years now. We moved in together in May 2021. We are completely fine financially, we pay really low rent and don't have a ton of bills. We moved in together to save money, as we both go to the same college.
Let me start by saying, I do my absolute best to support my boyfriend. He has a job he enjoys, and he makes a decent salary doing so. I try not only telling him, but showing him by keeping our house clean/things done. I also work a full time job, go to college, and we split bills.
However, he is starting to seemingly forget he has a lot of other things going on. Not only do I want to see him, but his family as well. Our dog waits for him at the door every night, and only comes to bed once she's been waiting for a long time. We have commitments that we (or he) has missed out on. We didn't even get to decorate for Christmas together this year, which takes all of an hour, our first year living together.
I started really noticing this a while ago, but after him not seeing us all week for thanksgiving (somewhat his choice, and he cancelled our plans without telling me). Ever since then, i've been more aware of how he behaves about work/daily life. He works 12-14 hour shifts, and I barely see him as I work earlier and get off way before he does. Im asleep by the time he gets home. Ive tried once before to talk to him about it, but he brushed me off saying I just don't support him and that his schedule will get better. But, I've heard that before and don't exactly trust it. Not even necessarily him, but his boss to follow through and him to stand up for himself.
I appreciate how hard he works, and I don't want to harp on him for that at all. He is the type of person that just really gets focused on something, and everything else falls to the side. I know he must be extremely tired and probably burnt out, but he also could stand up for himself and get an extra day off or at least do a half day. His boss has told him this personally.
Anyways, the just is that I feel like things are one-sided at this point. I got a huge attitude from him purely by asking him to take our dog out this morning, because I had been doing it all week. Like I said, I don't mind, but I just wanted a small break for once. I constantly tell him thank you for all he does, and not once have I been acknowledged for taking care of our entire home, our pets, as well as working. I make sure he has dinner when he gets home. I can't remember the last time he asked me how my day was. I don't want to build up resentment over this, because I want to be able to support him as much as I can. But it's getting very difficult to do that when I don't have the support myself. We're young, we should be enjoying our lives together right now (somewhat, we obviously still need to work).
Is there a better way I could approach this conversation? As I said, I don't want to come across as complaining or being hard on him, I just want an open conversation about it. I feel like this post came off as complaining, but I don't mean to. It's just frustrating after 7-8 months of the same stuff.
TLDR: Feeling neglected and unsupported by my boyfriend due to his intense focus on his job, and I want to know how I can approach the topic.
Submitted December 18, 2021 at 08:08PM by mazebean5 https://ift.tt/3yHGFcX
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