I (F29) don't want to take a $400 flight the guy I'm dating paid for me to go visit him (M25), because he's leaving me by myself on NYE

Met a guy online. We hit it off real well. We realized we shared similar goals so we are interested in seeing if there's further compatibility in person. (I didn't know how to refer to him, so I just typed "the guy I'm dating", but we're not in a commited relationship, even though we both don't talk to anyone else romantically per our own decision). We were arranging when to meet in person. Since he lives in a state I never visited, and he exclaimed that he didn't have plans for NYE more than having to work, I thought it would be a fun idea to visit his city during that week, and stay at a hotel.

On December, 16th I asked him 3 times if he was sure he was okay with the specific days (Dec 26th through Jan 2nd). I even suggested we hang out another week that's not a holiday, but he was solid that the dates were fine and he specifically told me "I work Friday (31st) and Saturday (1st) so I will spend the night after work with you on those days." Fair enough to me, I could get to know the city while he was at work. He even bought me the $400 usd plane tickets right away (I was paying for the hotel we were gonna stay at during the week).

We continued talking as normal, we didn't have a specific plan for NYE but we figured we'd be able to tell once we were settled at the hotel.

Fast forward to today (23rd), he casually mentions that he "forgot that he had plans with his closest friends and their kids" so that he was going to be gone "for a couple of hours" on the 31st, starting at 8/9 pm. He also stated that as he worked the 1st, he wasn't gonna go out or drink, and that he wanted to be in bed before 12. So... If he leaves to be there at 9, spends 2 hours and comes back to the hotel at 11 to get ready to sleep, would be pretty shitty in my opinion.

He didn't invite me to tag along with his friends. I told him that I could be introduced as a friend, that we wouldn't have to reveal what was going on between us (since we were trying to figure it out ourselves), but that I didn't want to spend the NYE night on a city I don't know, by myself. I wasn't there to claim space as his girlfriend or anything alike, I just wanted to meet people and have fun. Also, I was counting on the plans as per our initial talk. He weights in that he'll be available all of the other days of my stay for me, and that "he understands where I'm coming from and he'd feel terrible if I had to spend the night alone". Still, he thinks that the fact he'll be with me the rest of the days, is motive enough as for me to fly there. I understand that his friends are important, but then... his words towards me, mean nothing?.

I don't know what to do. The flight can't be canceled as far as I'm aware. He offered to buy it and I was fine with it since I'd be spending more money for our stay, but now I don't feel like going. What should I do?

**TL;DR : **A guy is paying for me to visit him the week of NYE, but he exchanged our plans for hanging out with his friends that night, leaving me alone in a city I don't know, blut claiming that me going is worth it because we'll be together the rest of the days.

Submitted December 24, 2021 at 03:24AM by ThrowRA_Traveling https://ift.tt/3FtfWDo