Me (22f) and my boyfriend (23m) have been together for just over a year and have been long distance for most of that time. We last saw each other in October.
Over Christmas we’ve been with our respective families. On Christmas morning I asked him if he wanted to call quickly later that day to say happy Christmas. He said he was in a bad mood and so probably wouldn’t call me. I said I loved him and was sorry he was having a bad day, to which he didn’t reply. He doesn’t like it when I commiserate when he’s had a bad day because he thinks I’m inserting myself into stuff I can’t fix or understand so I realise this wasn’t a helpful response from me.
Cut to yesterday and he calls me to say he’s been annoyed with me since before Xmas because I’ve been messaging him too much (I’m on break from uni and am isolating due to contracting the obvious so I have been messaging him more, I didn’t know it was too much) and that I was “so out of order” for asking to call him on Christmas day because I knew I’d be taking him away from his family.
He thinks I’m not invested enough in my own life because I always update him on what I’m doing (his example was I always let him know I’m home safe from a night out … which I do because I live alone in a city with high rates of spiking) instead of being in the moment. I don’t think this is true, I just like to share my day with him , I didn’t know he didn’t enjoy hearing briefly what I’m up to. Im not someone who’s glued to their phone when out.
My ex and I called on Christmas day when we were together years ago so it didn’t occur to me asking to call would be seen as rude or disconnected so I thought I’d ask some wider opinions. Hearing these comments from him have really hurt me, I haven’t messaged him since and I don’t think he’s noticed.
TL;DR: was asking to call on Christmas “out of order”??
Submitted December 28, 2021 at 10:33AM by godofsanctury https://ift.tt/3zc2a62
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