A little background on me. My first serious adult relationship I dated and eventually married someone 10 years older than me ( this was 8 years ago ). I never even thought to go through someone phone, I just figured people were honest and I never had a passcode on my phone. I would usually leave my phone at home as I couldn’t have it at work, after months of that I figured out he would go through my phone everyday but was super protective of his. I could never even hold his phone. Never knew the passcode. Eventually discovered via other means he was cheating and it came up that’s why I could never see his phone. My next relationship after that same thing. Except this time I noticed he was always texting women and would always be changing his passcode and asking if I knew it. After 2 years of weird behavior he got a calI super late at night from a woman. I answered his phone and found out it was his other girlfriend. I made him show me everything on his phone and turns out our whole relationship he was talking to other women. All this to say on the past I’ve been burned by exes and it had an element of secretive behavior on their phone.
Fast forward to now, I’ve been dating a wonderful wonderful man for the last 1.5 years. We are getting ready to move on together and i really enjoy our life together. a few days ago he was showing me his new phone. It locked midway conversation and he tried to do the print scanner on it. It prompted for his passcode, he started typing it then backspaced after the first two digits and would only use the print scanner until it worked. It was like he didn’t want me to see it. I got to thinking about it and i feel like he’s weirdly protective about me knowing his phone passcode. For example, I have a passcode on my phone. If my phone goes off and I am busy, sometimes I will ask him to check it, or if we are using my phone for music when I am driving he is the dj, he knows how to log into my phone and I have no problem with it. I have nothing to hide. I’ve always been open. But if it’s the other way, he will ask me to pass him his phone for the thumbprint or to enter the pin. The more I think about it the more weirded out I get. It makes me question if he is being sketchy or if it’s normal to not know your partners phone code. To be clear, it has nothing to do with me wanting to look through his phone, because I do believe in respecting my partners privacy. Though he knows my passcode, I trust he wouldn’t go through my phone, but if he did, I have nothing to hide and I wouldn’t be mad. I just have a weird gut feeling about that aspect of his life being guarded. Am I crazy to feel this way? Should I say something? I feel like my gut keeps reminding me of my past relationships…
TL;DR- It bothers me that my boyfriend knows my phone passcode but it super weird about his. Do I say something?
Submitted December 29, 2021 at 02:14AM by pwnedagain https://ift.tt/32rH3Ri
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