My best friend, who I'll call Mia, and I have been friends for 20 years this year. Mia's wedding party is all but finalized and I was not asked to be a part of it. She is getting married in a few months.
Her wedding will have about 100 people or less to keep it smaller, and she also wants a smaller wedding party so it doesn't "look weird" with "a bunch of people upfront."
Before others in the party were officially asked, she mentioned something along the lines of her not being sure if I would have wanted to be in the wedding, to which I replied and said that I would be happy to be a part of it if she'd like me to. Overall, we've gotten along great over the years and haven't had many major issues between us.
The more I get asked about the wedding from people that both know us well, I keep hearing how strange it seems when I share that I'm not in it.
Mia's friend group is pretty small and some of our other mutual friends are in the wedding party. I'll add that our mutual friends have known her and I for much less time, and that Mia and I's friendship has always been completely platonic.
I am invited / still planning to attend the wedding itself with a plus one, and she tells me about the wedding details fairly often. She said that if they are having bachelor/bachelorette parties prior to the wedding, I would be welcome to hang out with the wedding party, or choose which party I would like to go to if they are separate events. I have not met her fiancé in person yet.
I recognize that Mia's wedding day is about her and Nick, but do I drop saying anything else about being in the wedding? I am disappointed, but I worry that I will end up offending my friend or hurting her feelings, and I don't want to make it into something it's not. How can I handle this cordially?
TL;DR: I am invited to, but wasn't asked to be in, my best friend's wedding. Invited to the pre-wedding events to hang out with the wedding party if I want to, though. We have been really close for years, even though we don't live near each other. I am still planning to go, but should I let go of wanting to be in the wedding?
Submitted December 28, 2021 at 02:26PM by Throwaway_3285 https://ift.tt/3mIAwIF
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