Original: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/r3vxzp/comment/hmh4lfx/?context=3 original post
Thanks for all of your responses to my original post.
So I did further digging through his phone. This coworker was his supervisor and she's married. They did quite a lot of texting and he barely mentioned having a wife until things went south. Based on their texts, they ate lunch everyday together. Apparently she developed feelings for him but felt guilty. He said he saw her as a sister but would be in a relationship with her if she wasn't married. He was happy that she needed him. He mentioned hating his job but staying for her, a friend he loved and really liked. He said he knows she will never love him as much as her husband.
She wanted to get over her feelings by creating distance and asked him to stop hugging her so much, but he guilt tripped her into thinking she was being dramatic. He said he worked too hard for their friendship and didn't want her to leave his life. She was definitely obsessive with the texts when he didn't reply to her. This was usually when he and I were out doing things. She did this repeatedly but always forgave her. Eventually, she said she wanted distance no matter what he thought and blocked him. Two days after that text she unblocked him and asked why he was talking in the work chat when he never does. He ignored her.
I confronted him about this and he said he was afraid of her and didn't want to worry me. He really liked his department and was afraid she would blow up and remove him if she found out he was married. After she unblocked him and questioned why he was talking in workchat, he went to management with her obsessive angry texts and ended up in another department that he hated. That's why he quit. The conversation I saw was her trying to get closure after he admitted to being married. That's why she asked about going their separate ways.
In the texts before that, she said she didn't want to try anymore but he asks her why? He asks to give him a month to cool off and recover from their drama. He ignored this last part when I confronted him. But he blocked her.
I accepted my husband's explanation until I noticed him talking on the phone with someone for several hours a week later. It was the coworker. Without my husband knowing, I contacted her to ask what's going on. According to her, my husband used to creep her out by waiting for her after her shift but she gave him the benefit of the doubt and befriended him. She admitted to developing feelings but felt guilty and wanted to not be such close friends. She apologized for being obsessive and didn't know he was married. She said her anger towards my husband before he quit was because he stopped pulling his weight, around the time she wanted distance. She said they blocked each other and she wants to work on her marriage. Afterwards, I blocked her and had a talk with my husband. We are going to work through this.
TL;DR The woman ended being obsessed with my husband, but he told her he would be in a relationship with her if she wasn't married. She wanted to end their friendship but he wouldn't let her. He told me he was trying to keep her in check because he liked his department and didn't want to be kicked out of it. But her anger eventually pushed him out of the department so he quit. I contacted the coworker. She said her feelings were obsessive. She apologized and now wants to work on her marriage. My husband and I are now working through this.
Submitted December 19, 2021 at 07:54PM by pecolarose https://ift.tt/3pa9LOS
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