Let me paint the picture for you. I fell in love with a man in Scotland. He’d been in a relationship with someone pretty much right up until January ish of this year, when they just… stopped hanging out. She’d still phone occasionally, but it was pretty clear that it had become platonic. (Worth noting that they never officially broke it off)
Enter: me. I flew into Scotland august of 2021 and he and I had an immediate connection like we knew we would, even from long distance. Things were great for the first week… then she called. And he answered. She asked him to lunch and he said sure. It was a tad upsetting but I figured that maybe they just needed closure since they’d never really had a conclusion to things.
Turns out it was just lunch, and he came home and said nothing about it. I didn’t ask.
For a couple months, he continued to answer her calls whenever she called, yes - even in the middle of making out. I was like “I’m confused, is this still a thing?” And he was like well I still have feelings for her, but every time I’d asked him point blank if they were dating, he’d be like “no, she doesn’t have time” or “not really, we haven’t even seen each other since January” (before the lunch). Basically, I ended up asking him what he wanted, he said “both”, and I said I can’t do that; I wish you every happiness but I’m going back to America. I didn’t know what I was getting into here.
He said no, don’t go - I’ll stop answering her calls. I was like … I mean, you’re not really catching the core issue here. Fast forward another month or so - during which they don’t speak at all and the bf and I are very happily dating and enjoying each other’s company - and then bam. She sends him a message on Discord. He opens it right next to me so I look away because I’m a firm believer in privacy.
He says “she wants a call.” I said can you just ask her what’s up in a text? And he says no, she is insisting that we need a call. So he calls her. I put on my headphones to give him privacy since we live in a really small flat.
He comes into the living room and says “I’m going to take her a box of her things.” I was like wait, what? Her things? Like she had things here the whole time? Felt off but okay. He left. He was gone three hours.
I finally ended up phoning him because it was getting to a point where, if we are actually dating, this is a bit inappropriate. He came back and tried hugging me and told me nothing happened and said we just needed to talk about why our relationship failed.
Fair enough.
Fast forward to last week - she messaged him on discord at 4am asking if she could call because she was lonely. He told me about it because I asked, since it had been about a week since he’d mentioned her and she had been constantly contacting him. He was like “oh I just told her no because I couldn’t be bothered and you were still awake”. I was bothered by this answer but I let it slide.
Then, a couple days ago, I was sitting across the room with my headphones on and he had his own headset on, and I looked over from doing my makeup to see him looking at a selfie of her. I bit my tongue and sat there wondering if I should say something, but then he started going up through all their saved pictures on Snapchat and I got really uncomfortable. He typed something to her and that’s when I got his attention. I said “you know I can see when you’ve got your phone pointed toward the living room?” And he didn’t answer. You could tell by the look on his face that he felt guilty but defensive.
He ended up telling me it was silly and he didn’t know why he contacted her in the first place. I let it go but during that conversation, he admitted that she’s been trying to get back with him. Something he had previously mentioned was not the case.
I’m left feeling confused. I also noticed the other day when he was showing me a DM that he’d deleted her Discord DMs and I honestly feel very uncomfortable with that. Because of his coho me being on mute, turning it away from me when he is chatting with someone and how many different places he communicates with her (Messenger, discord, Snapchat, text) I’m starting to wonder if he’s been dating her this whole time and if he’s still dating her. Something just feels really off and has since I got here. Advice on how to approach the topic with him so he doesn’t feel attacked? I’ve got my own doubts and insecurities to work through but I think we need to talk about this.
TL;DR My boyfriend still talks to his ex and I think he might be cheating with her. Or on her with me. I’M CONFUSED 😂
Submitted December 21, 2021 at 08:45AM by OkCow4082 https://ift.tt/3plSvXi
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