I (F18) have been with my boyfriend M(19) for a year and a half. Tonight he had a massive issue with what seemed like me and I’m genuinely so confused.
We’re both sick with the same cold and he came over to just watch some movies, etc. He kept trying to get frisky and would be feeling me up and so I’d just kinda pull away and be like “let’s keep watching!” Hoping he would get the clue but no.
He started pulling down my pants and I was like “no put them back on” and so he did. We kept watching the movie and then 15 minutes later he started making out with me again. I was into it and stuff but told him “I just feel too gross right now” and he said “no I think you’re beautiful!” And I said “no no like I’m too sick.”
He understood but kept touching his obvious erection and so I kinda shifted the subject again and asked if he was thinking of heading hime soon since it was 12:30 am.
Instead he shifts the focus on this issue he had. He said how he gets really worried he’s going to do something that I don’t consent to and so whenever we start making out or doing stuff and I say no down the line it makes him feel like everything before the no was bad as well.
He also said how I need to be more direct with my consent. when I suggested he asks before doing something like, “hey are you okay with me doing this.” Or “can I do this.” Instead of just going for it until I say no. To this he said “well that’s not really the point.”
I also said how he knows when I am uncomfortable as I will pull away or do something else physically to signal I’m not into it. I understand his worries about doing something wrong but at the same time this conversation only came up today which is odd since this is the first day in a lonnnng time where I’ve rejected his advances for sex.
I told him how it was way too late in the night for this conservation for me to be fully focused and how were both sick which isn’t helping and he got upset and said “well I’m gonna go home now” then kinda just left.
I genuinely feel bad that he left upset but I also am so confused what he wanted to come out of this conversation. It could be that I’m extremely tired right now or maybe my cold medication is affecting how I’m processing stuff.
TL:DR; boyfriend brings up issues of consent saying I’m not direct enough even though I said no and said I was too sick to do stuff. Brought it up on one of the only days where I rejected his advances
Submitted December 18, 2021 at 01:08AM by randomusername729203 https://ift.tt/3E2pTX2
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