we are all in our mid20s i am a girl
my best friend moved in with her boyfriend in fall and she keeps asking me to come over to her new place but I really don't want to. Her boyfriend is around her constantly and he makes me really uncomfortable because he reminds me of my abusive ex and has always had a hostile energy to me like he doesn't want me there and wants my friend to himself.
I used to be able to handle spending time with him to see my friend and be supportive when we would all hang out together at her place that I'd been going to since before they were together but now it's his home where I have never been before I know I will feel unsafe and it will be triggering.
I feel like a bad friend but I don't know what to do I know if I go there I will probably have a breakdown and have to leave anyway and it will just be more awkward. I really don't want to lose her we have been best friends for 11 years. I did try once to bring up how her boyfriend made me feel but she yelled at me to stay out of her relationship and said I was just being jealous. And if I've even got close to criticizing him since then she says I'm being unsupportive and trying to break them up and why can't I just be happy that she is happy so I think if I say why I don't want to go then I will lose her. I don't want to have a big fight about it but I can't help being triggered. I am not even saying he is abusive I don't know him or their relationship well enough because he seems so stand offish and she doesn't really talk to me about it he just makes me upset to be around and I don't want to go to his home.
I could use covid as an excuse at first but since I see other people and I see her in cafés it doesn't really hold up. She is beginning to be hurt that I won't come but I don't know what to do.
TL;DR best friend wants me to come to her new place but as her boyfriend also lives there I would feel unsafe doing so
Submitted December 23, 2021 at 08:32AM by throwaway3345543 https://ift.tt/3HeMnWR
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