My mom (F43) just got married to another man(M44) and I (F22) am not ready to call him dad or change my surname to his.

My mom and biological dad got separated and later divorced when I was 10 years old. I've always wanted my mom to get married and find a companion and knew it'd would change my life to some degree but I realize now that I wasn't futuristic enough to see that things would get this intense for me.

They were expecting me to change my surname (my biological dad's) to my step dad's surname. I conveyed how my full name is my identity and my mom mentioned that I'm still very young and have my whole life to create an identity of my own and that I have no identity as such now.

I'm just feeling really small about myself. Step dad mentioned how I've put him and mom in a very tight position and that surname change was one thing they've been sure of, even before the marriage since they're starting a new life. But it was never conveyed to me or they never asked me if I want to get my surname changed.

As I mentioned, I've always wanted mom to start a new life and I had absolutely no clue things would start getting me to this extent.

(note : I hardly talk to my biological dad and I've no sentiments attached to my current surname because it belongs to him. My full name is my identity, that's it and I'm also having a tough time calling him a dad)

After confronting them last night about this, all I feel is like "hey, you're just creating a big deal out of this and what you're feeling is absolutely nonsense".

I have a business of my own, started earning when I was 19. I am thinking of moving out and I conveyed the same to my mom but she won't let me

TLDR : I dont want to change my surname to my stepdad's surname. Am I creating a huge deal out of this?!

Submitted December 27, 2021 at 11:34PM by tbbthp1800 https://ift.tt/3exUG3w