TW: mentions of inappropriate conversation and touching
For context: My father has been dead for 9 years and my mother hasn't been in a relationship until about two years ago when she met her current bf. The three of us have been living together until I moved out this year, which is when the whole dynamic started to shift.
While I was living with them he was quite friendly and always kept a healthy distance. However, once I moved out in August, he started to make advances. It started with him confiding in me about his relationship with my mother. Now, I don't have a stable relationship with her. She's very controlling and not very supportive, so I wasn't surprised when the bf told me that he isn't happy with the relationship. He said that my mother flirts with other men and he has the suspicion that she might be sleeping with other men too.
Later he started hugging me, which by itself didn't faze me, since it's a common thing in our family to do. He started hugging me for a longer time and telling me I'm the only good "friend" he has and that he misses me a lot when I'm not there. He also keeps telling me that he needs someone to be close with (in hindsight, it's been kinda creepy from the start). It didn't bother me much until he kissed me on the lips without asking for consent. And it wasn't just a peck, mind you, it was a full-on lower-lip-in-mouth kiss. I told him to stop and he said he would stop. I later told him that I'm not a lover to him and that he shouldn't treat me like one, to which he replied that he didn't see me that way and that I'm being immature by being touch-averse and saying that I don't like being touched.
Afterwards he would still hug me and kiss me on the neck, hug me from behind, pull me into a side hug/cuddle on the couch; all things I didn't agree to. One time he tried to hug me from behind, I wasn't having it and pushed him away and he just asked me if I was upset. He would ask me to go to the sauna multiple times to "relax", which I declined. And anytime he asked, he said things like "we'll go when your mum isn't home, so that she doesn't get upset at us going".
I do archery in my free time and he usually drives me to the range. A little over a week ago we went shooting again and he confessed a couple of things to me. First, he talked more about my mother and how he got some of the information about her cheating by buying software to spy on her phone, which is all kinds of messed up, and he went on to ask me if we could have casual intimate relations. As a reminder, a 70 year old grown man with a girlfriend asked a girl who only turned 18 this year, so barely legal, if he could have relations with her. I said no and laughed it off, but it has just recently hit me how weird that request is.
I am disgusted. I told a couple friends about it, who've all said to stay far away from him and tell a counsellor or therapist about it, and if it gets worse, to go to the authorities. I find it really hard to cope with this and am a little confused about what to do with this realisation. I visit my parents occasionally, but now I am uncomfortable with both my mother and her bf.
TL;DR - Mother's boyfriend is making inappropriate advances with me and I'm not sure how to cope or deal with it.
Submitted December 27, 2021 at 04:23PM by SmallButterfly10030 https://ift.tt/3HjS3i3
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