Hi all. Been struggling with this for a long time and I don't know what to do. My gut says that we aren't long term compatable, but there are so many other factors (I've developed depression since the pandemic, she's always struggled with depression and anxiety, we both had extra hard years this year due to life problems) and it's definitely complicated because we live together. We've been dating for 3 years.
We have sexual incompatability but not the usual kind. She never turns me down for sex, but she also almost never initiates. She doesn't have the mind for sex because, while she's not asexual, she has no relationship with her body in that way. She has never orgasmed with or without someone, doesn't masturbate, and says she enjoys sex but isn't very into it when we have it.
We've had many talks over the years about my fears of our sexual incompatability that always end up with "we'll work on it" -- and in the past few weeks I have noticed her trying to be more mindful, and she recently found a therapist that she likes and has addressed these issues and is going to start working on them, but it's the start of a long road.
My concern is that the damage is done and I don't know how to fix it. She's my best friend, but I find myself struggling to be romantic/sexual with her because I have some latent resentment for the years of my internal torment over this issue. I don't know how to try and overcome that, and I worry that by the time she really works through some of these issues in therapy, it might be too late? Any advice is appreciated.
TLDR: GF isn't a sexual person but says she enjoys sex, I have resentment from years of struggling with this and I don't know how to be super into romance/sex with her to save the relationship
Submitted December 24, 2021 at 01:58PM by sufjan123 https://ift.tt/3mzoaCB
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